Yu-Gi-Oh, Destiny, and Judgment Day


From Dictionary.com:

des•ti•ny

n. pl. des•ti•nies

1. The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.

2. A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control: “Marriage and hanging go by destiny” (Robert Burton).

3. The power or agency thought to predetermine events: Destiny brought them together.


I’ve been struggling a lot over the years with the argument over what determines who we are. What is it that determines our “Destinies”?

I’ve heard basically four arguments.

Nature “I’m born this way”

There are a lot of people that think that they do the things they do because they are genetically pre-determined to be. Alcoholism, homosexuality, even violent crime are all things that many have attempted to explain based on genetics. For good or ill, our DNA determines who we are, not just how we look.

Nurture, or the Environment “My parents/my neighborhood/my upbringing made me this way”

I think parents are great. Everyone should have a set! It sure makes it easy as I go through life to have people I can blame my shortcomings on! I mean, if my parents had been stricter/looser/meaner/nicer, I wouldn’t be in the mess I’m in right now, right? Others grew up on the mean streets of (insert your home town here), and so it’s obvious why they act the way they do.

Our experiences, our environment shapes us. There are some who have some legitimate claims to the harshness of life. Victims of abuse. Those that survive the horrors of war. The truly mentally ill.


Divine Will “God made me as I am”

Good or bad, we are children of our creator. And He, being omniscient, knows what our life’s path will be. Some take this to mean that He has already made that path for us, and that we’re merely walking down it, facing what is pre-destined to happen to us. He, the great puppetmaster, is in total control of everything, and therefore is responsible for me. Convenient, since that means I don’t have to be…

Freewill “I choose what I am”

This is the idea that we determine our own course in life. The effects and consequences of our choices shape us and we can become anything we determine to be. This is the only choice of the four that puts me in control of my life, which is a double-edged sword, to be sure.


Part of the challenge that faces us as we try and study this all out is that the proponents of each of these four options often tend to look at them in isolation. Each one seems, in their minds, to be the sole cause of all the good and ill in the world.

I don’t see it that way. I think all four elements play into our lives. And since our lives are the basis of our judgment and eternal reward, ultimately all four will play into that as well.

My son is starting to love playing Yu-Gi-Oh. For those that have been living without children for the last few years, this is one of the many “collectible card games”, where you buy these packs of cards and you collect them and you use them to play your games. As you collect them, you can do a certain amount of “stacking your deck”, meaning that before each game, according to certain rules, each player can choose which of their cards go in their decks. Then they shuffle them, and play, not knowing which cards will come out first. Each card has a unique impact on the way the game progresses, and some cards interact with other cards to create some very interesting strategies. Winning the game is very much a combination of what cards you have and how well you play them.

As I’ve been learning how to play this game with Brendon, I’ve noticed that in a lot of ways, it’s resolving these issues that I’ve had with these four elements on a metaphoric level.

See, it’s like in the pre-mortal life, God gave us each a big deck of cards. And each one of those cards is a facet of our life. That I have certain traits and habits and knacks to do things (like music) is each represented by a card. The challenges I face with having a special needs child, or my inability to manage my money well are also cards in my hand and in my deck.

See, here in this life, we are NOT all created equal. We want to believe that we are, but just take a look around. Some are born into amazing wealth. Others are born into abject poverty. Some are raised in fine schools. Others grow up where school is a daily risk of life.

We are given a deck of cards, like it says in Ether 12:27. God gives us weaknesses for us to be humble. He also gives us gifts.

In the parable of the talents in Matt 25:14-30, each servant was given a different amount to begin with. One received one coin (talent), one received three, and another received five. We are not all equal.

And yet, I find it to be really interesting to note that while one servant returned with ten talents, and another with only six, they both received the same reward! They started out inequal, but they ended up in the same glory! Why is that? Well, it’s because the one judging them knew what they started with, and knew what they ended with. The One with full omniscience knows pure justice.

What that means for me is that I’m going to be judged based on how well I play MY hand of cards. How well did I overcome MY challenges. How well I handled my strengths. And Ether also tells me that I’ll have help doing that. God, who gave me those weaknesses, will help me overcome them.

That also means that I have no right to judge someone else. I have no right to look at someone’s actions and say that they’re going to rot in the flames of the eternal abyss, because I don’t know what cards are in their hand. I don’t know what they’re dealing with. I think in the final hour, we’ll be surprised to see some people in the celestial kingdom because WE thought they’d never make it. Well, that’s what the atonement’s for. You play your hand of cards the best you can, and have faith in the One that gave them to you, and that’s how you’ll be judged.

So, why am I all on about this? Well, over the last few years that I’ve been mulling this over, I finally finished the song that is based on this whole concept. It’s called “Play the Cards” and it’s now live at my website!


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

I Ain't Complainin'

I was recently asked to write about what it's like being a father of a special needs child.

This is a tough one to answer. So much of the direct interaction with the outside world is handled by Jodi. She fights with the insurance companies, the government, and goes to all the doctor’s appointments. At one point not long ago, we added up all the monetary value that Jodi’s efforts either brings to the family in the form of direct services, or in savings, and it totaled more per year than my salary.

I do help with some of Jacob’s treatments, but by and large, I feel foreign to that process.

Not that I feel like I’m shirking my responsibilities as a father. I work 40+ hours a week to bring food to the table, and put the roof over our heads. I spend time with the boys reading, playing video games, playing Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. I get them off to school.

And somewhere in there, I get to spend some time dating my wife each week, and feeling close to her. I go to church (twice each Sunday), and try and fulfill my church callings. I also get to spend a little time making some music and following my dreams.

So, it’s a pretty full life. I’m not really sure that in the big picture it’s any different than the mom’s life. I do get to go to an office and work, and I interact with clients and co-workers. But then, Jodi does, too. It’s just that her office is at home, and her work is more directly with the boys.

But when I say, “It’s a pretty full life”, I mean that in both senses of the words. It’s “full” in the sense that it’s very fulfilling. I’m feeling very complete, even though at times I’m also feeling inadequate for the tasks.

It’s also a very “full” life in that it is “filled”. There are very few minutes that aren’t filled with some sort of activity. Really the only “down” time I get is when I can’t sleep, and I get to be a couch potato at 2:00 in the morning watching infomercials and lame un-reality TV on VH-1 (Maybe they could get some of the one-hit wonders of the seventies to move into a house together for two months. Then they could make both an infomercial and a reality show at the same time!).

And overall, in spite of the fact that it’s filled to the brim, I’m constantly feeling like I’m not giving enough. I don’t work with Jacob on his therapies enough. I don’t get things done at my job enough. I don’t get to spend time with Jodi enough. I don’t sing or write enough. I don’t go out with the missionaries enough. It’s just not enough.

One day, Jodi and I were in Roberts, looking at craft things. She asked if there was some art supplies I wanted, paints or brushes, or anything. My answer? “The one thing I need to do better paintings is the one thing they don’t sell here—Time!”

But two things come to mind when I let myself feel sorry for myself:

One is that when I look at my friends who have “normal” children, they don’t seem to have any more spare time than I do. Tasks seem to expand to fill the available hours in the day, no matter who you are.

And also, when I see Jacob giggle at a tickle, or when Brendon beats me AGAIN at Pokemon Stadium (and I’ve given up on letting him win, I’m actually trying!), or when Jodi and I get some precious moments together, it’s all worth it.

I’m reminded of the line from Joe Walsh: “I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do… Life’s been good to me so far…”


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Advice to Myself

Tonight on Dr Phil (my wife likes to watch him, and I was there, too), there were a number of guests, but there were two that really struck me.

One was a man and his wife, and the man expected the wife to do certain things, basically to please him. He wanted dinners, he wanted a clean house, and he wanted her to be sexy for him. The trouble is, that he was constantly criticizing her and berating her when she didn’t measure up. He didn’t yell or scream, but he was pretty clear in his disappointment.

The other was a woman who said she was happy being a housewife, and that it was wonderful for her to do things for her husband. She kept the house clean, and worked with the kids at home, and had dinners made, and even dressed up a bit when he came home from work. She said she felt fulfilled making him happy.

This all stirred up some interesting thoughts in me.

The first guy was clearly out of line. I’ve worked with people that constantly berated me. Bosses, missionary companions, and there have been times in our past where I felt I didn’t measure up to Jodi expectations. It’s not a fun place to be. I’ve also looked at it and seen that there have been times where I’ve set a pretty high bar for Jodi, too. That’s not right, no matter who’s doing it to whom.

The second lady made me a bit uneasy. There was a part of me that wanted to shrug off her choices. A part that wanted to say, “Yeah, she’s just talked herself into that, but she’ll get tired of it and end up feeling trapped, just like the feminists say she will.” There was another part of me, a very “politically and socially incorrect” part of me, that thought, “How cool would that be?”

I mean, let’s face it guys… We can be as liberal and as sensitive as we wanna, but who among us wouldn’t love it if our wives treated us like kings? Eh?

And the flip side is true, too, ladies. Who among you wouldn’t like to have your husband bringing you chocolates while you bask in the hot bath he poured for you?

There are two things that have to happen for that kind of pampering to be healthy:

1. Each of us should do it for our spouse as often as we possibly can. I know I’m preaching to myself as well, but we should all be doing everything we can each day to make each other’s life wonderful. There should be no doubt in Jodi’s mind that she’s the Queen of my world, and I should feel like her King.
2. We both need to do that because we want it, not because we are forced, belittled, or begrudged into it.

The truth is that this issue has nothing to do with sexism, or chauvinism, or feminism. We all want to feel like we’re important. And the one person we want to show us how important we are is the one who chose to be with us for eternity.

Now, I know that reality takes its toll. The ideal isn’t always attainable. But I’ll bet each of you reading this, like myself, can look inside and see one or two (or more) things that can be done to make those two things happen.


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Extra: This issue of the Latter Day Songs newsletter features a track of Sam Payne live at the LDS Independent Music Fest VI! Sam's stories are wonderful. Check it out. This issue also features one of my songs, "Today and Yesterday"