Monday, October 05, 2009

General Conference

LDS General Conference was very interesting for me this time. It was very personal. I'm reading a lot of the sum-ups and the play-by-plays of the bloggernacle, and a lot of them are bringing up some very interesting points.

But still, for me, the talks were very personal.

See, for a long time, now, I've been dragging along in my own personal life, as if I had a dark cloud over my head. It's been so long that in a lot of ways, I've accepted it as the normal way of life.

I'm an active member of the LDS Church, with what I feel is a strong testimony. But I realized this weekend where the dark cloud is coming from, why it's there, and how to get rid of it.

It's there because I've been cultivating this general feeling of worthlessness, and unworthiness for years. Intellectually, I know all the verses about the worth of a soul and how God loves the sinners and the saints. I even know that they're the same people. But integrating that intellectual knowledge into deep personal belief has been difficult.

I mean, really, what difference do *I* make in the world?

Well, in order to get out from under that cloud, I need to refocus my life on the steps of personal spirituality. I need to get connected back to my Heavenly Father. I need to feel that love again.

I'm going to start with my personal prayers. Then, I'll renew my personal scripture study. Fasting will come next. Through it all, I'm going to pay attention to opportunities to serve. I have already begun, and I'll keep posting about it as I go.

Pray for me, folks. A brighter day is coming!

Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including and his Dutch Oven blog.

Mark's Other Blog Posts: Rockin' with the Family, Andy J and the cookoff,

1 comment:

  1. "I mean, really, what difference do *I* make in the world?"

    If nothing else, some of our lives are enriched by having you in it.

    I'm sure your family might have a thing or two to say about it all as well.



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