Thoughts on Guns and School Shootings.

There’s been yet another mass shooting in a school, and so everyone is filling my ears with their opinions and their memes. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around my head. Here are some.

First, whenever someone starts their argument with the phrase, “The problem is...”, my respect for their opinion automatically drops. No one problem is THE problem. There is not one (pardon the pun) “silver bullet” solution. All proposed solutions are incomplete and flawed. We need to look a lot of the roots of the problems and fix them, and then realize that even those solutions will not “fix” everything.

If we do a lot of things, they will make school shootings less likely, but they will probably still happen. The nice thing about a lot of these solutions is that they will make our nation, as a whole, a nicer place to live.

OK, here are my ideas.

1 - Making guns illegal will not help. I know that’s tough for a leftie to say, but I believe it. When Jodi and I were first married, we took in teenage foster kids. Most were great kids, but most also had criminal records. I knew that at any given moment, I could have given some money to pretty much any one of those kids and within an hour or two they could have come back to me with a gun.

Having said that, I do think it’s valuable to register guns and to license gun owners, just like we do with cars. Will that prevent gun crimes? Maybe not, but it might help prosecute them.

I also think that making certain kinds of weapons illegal is reasonable.

2 - A lot of focus has been pointed at mental health as an issue. Many have rightly pointed out that there are a lot of people with mental health issues that are not violent. I think, at times, that I’m probably chronically depressed, possibly bipolar, and I’ve never shot anyone.

However, I think that every school shooter has some significant mental health issues. To stand in a crowded school hallway, full of your classmates and to start killing them is NOT HEALTHY. That’s NOT NORMAL.

Getting good mental health care in this country is very difficult. Often, insurances won’t cover it, or will barely cover one or two sessions with a counselor. There is no framework (or at least a very weak framework) for identifying those that are struggling and getting them help. This is true of potential shooters, but also potential suicides, and just plain sufferers. Having a token “school psychiatrist” who has to float between 4-5 schools in a district is not enough to identify and serve those that need it.

Many people identified and spoke out about the most recent school shooter long before he took the gun to the school. Why was nothing done? Who was supposed to do it? The school? The police? His family?

And politically, many of the same people who say, “It’s not a gun problem, it’s a mental health issue” are the same people who vote for those that defund mental health services.

So, our schools, and our society, needs a more full and robust support system for mental health, that’s affordable and available.

3 - And while we’re talking about wellness, there’s something very important that we’re missing out on in schools: Social Studies. I mean REAL social studies. Instead of creating fake “zero tolerance for bullying” policies, there should be curriculum that’s taught from kindergarten through high school about how to get along. And EVERYONE should be in on it, not just the peer tutors. The parents should engage in it. We should be teaching everyone how to be nice to each other, and work together. Everyone should learn how to see things from someone else’s point of view.

Maybe as part of high school graduation, there should be a time period of service. You should be required to step outside of your own little world and work for the support of someone else for a time. That would mean that I wouldn’t get to just keep going to church and count that as my service. I would have to seek a new opportunity.

And learning about how society and our government actually works would be good, too.

4 - You can’t blame violent shooting on any one movie or video game.  However, we do have a popular culture that glorifies violence and makes it exciting. Fighting and violence is conflict, and conflict makes for good stories.

Here’s what’s really bad about it, though: It shows that violence has no consequence. If the hero of a movie kills a couple of security guards while he sneaks into the bad guy’s factory, that’s all that’s shown. The nameless, faceless guards fall down, and the hero steps over them and moves on in the story. The guards are never talked about again. But in real life, those guards have families that now have lost their father, wives that have lost their husbands, parents who have lost sons. In real life, they will mourn, have funerals, and struggle to move on. But that’s a different story, so the movie doesn’t show that. They’re just dead and are now immaterial, disposable.

Often in games and movies, violence is shown as the only possible solution to a problem. Faced with an opponent who blocks your agenda? Punch him, or shoot him. Negotiate? Why?

I don’t think legislation will change this, and I’m not sure that it should. But, we should all be aware of it, and think twice about it. I am also fully aware of my own hypocrisy in saying this. We can all do better.

5 - A lot of these proposed solutions will cost money. Personally, I think it will be money well spent. Establishing a robust mental health system, for example, will require a lot of counselors, social workers, and support personnel. Having armed guards in the schools will require hiring a lot of armed guards. Teaching social skills will require hiring specialist teachers.

So, let’s think about that, though. In addition to considering it an “investment in our own survival”, you’re also creating a lot of valuable jobs. All these people you’re hiring will now be employed, and be paying taxes, and buying groceries and cars and taking vacations and spending money on other things. Those business that provide the groceries, cars, vacations, and other things will now be doing more business, and paying more taxes. A vibrant, thriving economy is one where a lot of money is flowing.

Anyway. Those are all of my thoughts for now.  Feel free to leave yours in the comments below



Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.  Also, check out his new fantasy fiction blog: The Hero's Tale: Family-Friendly Role-Playing Game

How to Do Something Overwhelming

Sometimes, in life, it’s very good to see the big picture. Steven Covey says, “Begin with the end in mind.” That’s very good advice.

Most of the time.

Sometimes, the project you’re facing is so big, so daunting, so overwhelming huge that you simply can’t fathom it. If you’re standing at the foot of the mountain, staring up at the snow-capped points that are miles above you, it can be daunting.  Rather than being inspired to lunge ahead, you end up thinking to yourself, “Y’know, a cuppa hot cocoa in my easy chair is lookin’ mighty good right about now...”

Today, my primary cleaning task was the kitchen. After making some brownies for a neighbor’s mission farewell activity, and various other cooking bits, the kitchen was a mess. You can say, “Oh, I have a messy kitchen,” but, really? Take a look at this.

Yeah. I win.

Or lose...

Or something...

When I’m facing this sort of huge task, I can’t do it efficiently. I can’t think of all the things on the counter and pick out all of the ones that go to the pantry, and all of the ones that go to the front room, etc... That just maxes my meter.

But -

I CAN pick one thing up, figure out where it goes, and take it there.

Then, I CAN do it again. I pick up another thing, figure out where it goes, and then take it there.

Yeah, it means I do a lot more walking and a lot more taking. It takes me longer.  But it gets DONE.

And now it looks like this:

Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

The Word For the New Year

A few years ago, I found myself tired of making New Year’s Resolutions. They were always the same, and I’d end up breaking them right away and feeling like a total failure.

Again.

Then I read a post in a blog somewhere that changed my perspective on the idea. Instead of a goal or an ideal to work on or a promise to avoid this or that thing that I happen to really enjoy, the idea is to pick a word that you want to focus on for the year.

That first year, I had been particularly depressed, so I chose to work on “Joy”. Then, throughout the year, I would remember the word, contemplate it, think about it, read and write about it, and hopefully find more of it in my life. So, at the end of the year, I could look back and see its impact.

Gone is the guilt of failure. If I have an unjoyful week, I’m fine with that. I just continue my focus and let it grow.

Other words I’ve used in other years have been “Gratitude”, “Creativity”, and “Spirit”.

So this year, I’m going to focus on the word “Prayer”. I’m feeling a real need to re-connect myself with Heavenly Father, and to feel more divine, myself. One way to do that is to simply take a quick moment to pray whenever the thought crosses my mind. To take that thought as an inspired reminder, and to think thoughts of gratitude to God, and to ask for blessings for those around me.

I know that we’re taught that there are certain times of the day when we’re “supposed to pray”. I’m OK with that, but I don’t always remember at those times. So, I’ll take advantage of the times I do remember.

In Alma 34, Amulek teaches that it’s good to pray whenever the desire or the need strikes you, and it’s good to pray over temporal as well as spiritual things:

 17 Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren, that ye may begin to exercise your faith unto repentance, that ye begin to call upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you;

 18 Yea, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save.

 19 Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.

 20 Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks.

 21 Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.

 22 Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies.

 23 Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness.

 24 Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them.

 25 Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase.

 26 But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.

 27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.

So, that’s gonna be my focus this year.





Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

Role Playing Games, part II

Or

How We Fix the Problems, I Hope


So, many years ago my kids began to play games with me. They started with video games, and then began to include tabletop games, like Pokemon CCG, and Yu-Gi-Oh. That was about the same time that I was getting involved in Magic, the Gathering, too.

Soon after, they began asking if they could play Dungeons and Dragons. I was very nervous for all of the reasons that I spelled out in the last post. It really has the potential to teach impressionalble children the wrong concepts. On the other hand, it can also teach teamwork and goodness. It can enhance creative thinking and problem solving.

In that sense, role-playing games are very much like life. What you get out of it depends very much on what you put into it. I definitely didn't want them to be playing under a GM that didn't understand this, or the nature of consequences for acts and choices. But then, did I really want to be the GM for a system where I had so many fundamental problems?

Years went by, and every so often, my kids would remind me how much they wanted to try it out. Sometimes I'd flat out turn them down, other times I would put them off. I looked at the newer edition rule books, and found that, even though there had been some changes, most of my core issues with the game were still in place.

I had some stock responses, like how I didn't have time to make up an adventure, or how we didn't have enough money to buy the books, or any of a number of excuses.

Finally, this last year, I could see that they weren't going to give up, and I could see that, at age 16, I wasn't going to be able to deny my oldest for very much longer. I also had been more active in game design, having worked through some years on Seeker's Quest Scripture Card Game.

Finally, I decided that I would make an RPG system that would deal with my fears and issues, and allow us to have a great time bonding and playing. So, last July, I wrote out a few quick pages of rules and tables and got started.

The rules themselves have undergone significant revisions already, and the core keeps getting more and more balanced. The adventure we've been playing has continued to grow and develop. We've had times where we've had to stop and rework the characters to reset the game balance, and there have been times when we've suddenly thought of great new ideas of things to add. There is still much to do.

But it has been a wonderful bonding experience with me and my children, and we'll continue to work on it.

Here's how we've dealt with the four issues:

The Focus on Fighting over Story and Character

First, from the very beginning, we began creating the characters by inventing their back story. Who is this? Where is he/she from? Why is he/she adventuring? What motivates him/her? What does he/she want to be when "grown up"? Then, rather than randomly rolling numbers for attributes, the players used a point system to develop the attributes and skills that fleshed out that backstory.

Secondly, I approached the entire adventuring process from the perspective of a story line. As the Game Master, I used the backstories of the newly formed characters to create the world and the opening situation. Then, as the characters began exploring this world, they encountered adversaries and others that made sense within that world. I constantly asked myself, "Why?" Why would these monsters be there? What is this Non-Player Character trying to accomplish?

Story became a very integral part of the game from the first session, and it grew from there.

The System for Magic, Spells, and Dieties

In order to fix the fundamental difficulties I had with magic, I had to abstract the system. We came up with five different kinds of "Powers" (I didn't even want to call it "magic"), and some basic abilities within each one. Each player that had powers had a certain number of "Will Points" that he/she could use in a day. The player would then be faced with a situation, and would think of an action within that type of power that might solve it. He/she would describe the action, and I, as the GM, would tell the player how many WP it would cost to do that. The points would be subtracted, and the dice rolled.

This made it so that the source of the power was vague, even inconsequential. There was no detailed incantations or "eyes of newt" to be thrown into bubbling cauldrons. The character simply willed it to happen, and if the die roll was successful, it happened.

The Alignment System

It was my son that suggested something that would end up fixing the idea of good or evil characters. He didn't even know it at the time. As we were creating the first character sheets, he said, "You should have a 'luck' attribute." I thought about that, and decided on "Karma Points". As the players did good and helpful things for each other and the NPC's in the world, they would gain KP. If they did horrible things, not only would the NPC's get upset and possibly attack or capture the characters, but they could be docked KP. The KP's could be used to artificially alter a critical die roll that failed.

As a result, the players began to conciously do things that would gain them Karma and avoid being bad guys.

The Overall Complexity and Inflexibility

Games have a tendency, over time to become more and more complex. That's the nature of game design. It's kind of an "opposite entropy". You encounter a problematic situation in the game design, and you fix it by adding some rules. That's OK, that makes it so you can get back to playing. But then, those new rules bring up other situations that beg for more rules, and more rules, etc...

I'm working to keep this game simple with guidelines for Game Mastering. This does mean that the GM has to really take charge, but it also frees him/her up for making the story happen instead of twiddling about looking up and administering the rules. He/she simply decides what's reasonable within a framework and goes with it.

It has been challenging to find the internal balances in those guidelines. There have been a couple of times when the system has essentially broken down, and we've had to rework the characters to keep them from being too powerful. In those circumstances, we've had to struggle with being responsible game designers while we like playing powerful characters!

In the process, however, we've really bonded as a family, and I haven't had the problems come up like I had feared. It really has been great fun.

Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

Mark's Other Blog Posts: name post, name post,

Role Playing Games, Part I

Please forgive my self-indulgence.  These next two blog entries are about as geeky and nerdy as can be. It's all about my history as both a gamer and as a member of the Church. It's also a setup for some things to come.

Way back in the day, when I was a teenager, a friend of mine introduced me to this cool new game he had just bought called "Dungeons and Dragons".  We were thrilled, and both started playing regularly. As a game, it was a totally new paradigm. It was based in your imagination. You pretended to be characters in a party of mideaval fantasy adventurers, and you fought and wizarded your way through dungeons, killing monsters and collecting loot.

It was also the first game I'd ever played where you didn't "win", because you just survived and grew. You could "lose" if you died, but you never really "won". Some of my friends would look at it and say, "how do you win?" because that's usually what people want to know about playing a game.  But in reality, in role-playing games, you win by having a great time making a cool story.

This was at a point very early on in the history of the game. As I grew up playing more and more, later editions of the game became more elaborate and thorough and brought with them more and more extensive rule books.

It was a large part of the reason why my high school and early college grades were so bad. I was more into gaming than I was studying. I was a total geek. The problem was that, unlike today, "geek" was not even close to "cool".

Not only did D&D get in the way of my schooling, but it clashed with my religion as well. As it became more popular, and more well-known, many people handled it badly (iincluding many of the players), and it often got a reputation as something evil, or satanic.

In spite of all this, I often look back at my gaming life and friends and say that it is what helped keep me off drugs. I was with a group where I was accepted, and my need for creativity, weirdness, and exploration was encouraged and valued. Who needs drugs?

Then I went on my mission, and served The Lord for a time. Not long after that, I moved myself out to Utah, and soon after that married life and adulthood (jobs, etc) filled my life with practical reality. There wasn't time to devote to finding a good adventure group and developing stories, dungeons, and adventures.

As I became more and more fully devoted to the Church and the gospel, looked back at my gaming life, and though I had many wonderful memories, there were certain things that nagged at me. These were things that also made me uncomfortable about D&D in particular, and even about role-playing in general.

The Focus on Fighting over Story and Character

All too often, our adventures degenerated into die-rolling slug fests, and the victors would be determined more by the dice than any really creative problem solving. The winner was the biggest, the baddest, and with the most plusses on his/her magic sword.

I had already been playing the game for many years before I had an adventure campaign that was truly based on storytelling. I wish I could say that I was the Game Master for that one, but I have to give props to Rick, who did a fabulous job of setting scenes and encouraging interaction and real character development, not just adding up experience points. That was, sadly, a rare experience.

It's true that this aspect of the game is more related to those playing it, but I also feel that the intracacies and detailed nature of the rules of D&D created a situation where storytelling was de-emphasized. The system also had greater rewards for fighting and conquest.

The System for Magic, Spells, and Dieties

I had three problems with the way Magic was handled in D&D. One was that each type of spellcaster had a list of detailed and unique spells that he/she could choose from. They each did very specific things, and nothing else. It was very clear to everyone playing, from the GM to the newest beginner, what each spell did. This didn't allow for much creativity on the part of the player to create clever solutions to problems and situations.

Another problem I had was the details of the spells as set out in the rules. Each spell could have a verbal, somantic, and/or a physical component, many of which were written out and listed in the rules. This kinda gave me a strange feeling as a member of the Church because it began to look like a magic instruction book to me. In my mind, I could dismiss it as "just a game", but that level of detail bothered me.

A third problem dealt primarily with the Clerical spells. These were the healing and other abilities that were granted to the characters by dieties. This was the internal religion of the game. In order to "charge up" their spell lists, the cleric character had to spend so much time each day meditating or praying to his/her chosen mythological diety. These were derived from all kinds of sources, and in many cases were even evil. Clearly, as a member of the church, having any of the players around me praying to a demon in order to get their spells was a bit disconcerting, even if it was "just in the game".

The Alignment System

Which also leads me to the next issue that troubled me which was the Alignment system. This allowed players to decide if they were going to be, essentially, good guys or bad guys. I can still remember a long, extended campaign adventure that I GM'ed of all evil characters. Eventually, role playing turned to mistrust and infighting, and several real-life friendships (of many years) were almost destroyed in the proces. At that point, I swore to myself that I would never play an evil character, nor to GM for evil characters again.

Part of the problem with the playing of evil or even neutral characters is that the GM is not always prepared to nor interested in implementing consequences for evil behavior. Even though killing people brings the wrath of other people, that can often distract from an existing story line, bog it down, or simply require additional tracking and effort. It's often easier to just let it go. As a result, players can have a great time being dominant and powerful, spreading mayhem and taking whatever they want with very little negative results. With the wrong GM, the game can actually teach that it's exciting and fun to be evil.

The Overall Complexity and Inflexibility

My final problem was the intricate detail of the rules. At first, it was fun reading through all of the spells and the monster listings (that was a completely bound book, in and of itself - the Monster Manual), in the end it was frustrating because the players could access it as well. If I threw a scene at them with a two Hobgoblins and twelve Orcs, they knew immediately the strengths and weaknesses of their opponents. And, if I did something wrong, or made a judgement call, they were quick to point out that I had done it wrong, and that according to page 212 of the Dungeon Master's Guide, THIS was how it SHOULD have worked.

Ultimately, it was still a great game that I loved playing. But all of these things nagged at me over the years, and I finally decided that it was good that I stopped playing. Besides, I spent some time enjoying miniatures gaming, and then I discovered Magic: the Gathering, so I still was quite the gamer.

I was, however, not prepared for how to answer to the next challenge: My kids!





Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

Mark's Other Blog Posts: name post, name post,

In Which I Bake Bread for the Sacrament

Hey, folks, I don't usually cross-post from my other blogs, but in this case, it's really appropriate.  I had the opportunity to hand make some bread to be used in our ward's sacrament meeting.  It's not really a big deal in the big picture, but it was a wonderful experience for me.  I wrote it up over at Mark's Black Pot.  Check it out, and if you want to, leave a comment over there:  http://www.marksblackpot.com/2014/06/baking-bread-for-church.html

Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

Mark's Other Blog Posts: name post, name post,

A Poetic Thing Happened on My Way to Work

“Maya Angelou died today.”  The cashier said.

I’d heard that already, actually.  I had been listening to NPR on my way to work, and they’d been talking about it.  I had stopped and pulled into a convenience store to get my Diet Dr Pepper for the morning.

“Yeah, I heard.”  I agreed.

“That’s sad.”

“She left quite a legacy, though.”

It wasn’t until I’d left the store that the full impact of Maya’s life and work hit me. I had just bought a soda from a convenience store, and the cashier and I had conversed about a poet.  Not about the weather, or complaining about a country song on the radio or politics, but about a poet.

Maya Angelou died today.

Or, maybe, I should say, “Maya Angelou lives today”




Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

Two Singers I admire: Bono and David Archuleta

In the last week, I’ve had the chance to hear about two singers and to think about what I admire in both of them.  It’s a similar list.  One of them is young, some would argue, at the beginning of his career.  The other has had a long and celebrated career.  The two are David Archuleta and Bono.

As I start this blog post, I have to set up the disclaimer.  I usually don’t like admiring other humans. Too often, we set people up as heroes, and then we’re upset when they let us down. On the other hand, I think we should celebrate goodness and righteousness whenever we see it. So, let me say that I don’t know either of these people personally. I have no idea what they’re really like. I don’t know what their struggles have been, other than what I’ve read. I don’t even like every song they’ve sung.

But they have both made some choices in their lives that I find admirable, and I want to point those out.

The first event I heard about was David Archuleta’s return from his mission. I was impressed by this. Here, he’s got a growing recording and performing career, and he sets it aside to serve his fellow humans in relative obscurity in a far-away country. If his mission was anything like mine, or anything like anyone else’s, he probably had a lot of struggles, disappointments, joys, and personal triumphs. I don’t know how well he got along with his companions, or how well they got along with him, but I’m sure they all grew in the process.

Here’s what I most admire him for: he went, he served, and he came home honorably. There have been many others who have had the opportunity and have not done those three things. Others have felt that their fame would interfere with missionary work. I just admire that he made the choice to set it all aside.

The other thing was an interview Bono did with Jim Daly of Focus on the Family. In the course of the interview, Bono, who is by all accounts now, a worldwide superstar, bore his personal witness of Jesus as the Son of God, and talked knowledgeably about the scriptures. In addition to being in the band, he’s worked tirelessly in support of AIDS-ravaged and poverty-stricken Africa. He’s worked with politicians on the right and the left all across the world looking for ways to facilitate funding and treatments.

Again, I don’t know him. I’ve never met him. I don’t know his flaws or his strengths.

I don’t know the hearts or minds of either of these two great voices. So, I will admire and try to emulate some of their great choices, and I will use those choices as examples to teach my family.

Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

General Conference

LDS General Conference was very interesting for me this time. It was very personal. I'm reading a lot of the sum-ups and the play-by-plays of the bloggernacle, and a lot of them are bringing up some very interesting points.

But still, for me, the talks were very personal.

See, for a long time, now, I've been dragging along in my own personal life, as if I had a dark cloud over my head. It's been so long that in a lot of ways, I've accepted it as the normal way of life.

I'm an active member of the LDS Church, with what I feel is a strong testimony. But I realized this weekend where the dark cloud is coming from, why it's there, and how to get rid of it.

It's there because I've been cultivating this general feeling of worthlessness, and unworthiness for years. Intellectually, I know all the verses about the worth of a soul and how God loves the sinners and the saints. I even know that they're the same people. But integrating that intellectual knowledge into deep personal belief has been difficult.

I mean, really, what difference do *I* make in the world?

Well, in order to get out from under that cloud, I need to refocus my life on the steps of personal spirituality. I need to get connected back to my Heavenly Father. I need to feel that love again.

I'm going to start with my personal prayers. Then, I'll renew my personal scripture study. Fasting will come next. Through it all, I'm going to pay attention to opportunities to serve. I have already begun, and I'll keep posting about it as I go.

Pray for me, folks. A brighter day is coming!



Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.



Mark's Other Blog Posts: Rockin' with the Family, Andy J and the cookoff,

Dinrist, My Guitar

Sometime around 1980 (memory fuzzes after all those years), I was at the used rack in a music store in my hometown of Terre Haute, Indiana, and I saw this absolutely incredible guitar. It was a natural finish maple, a "beautiful blonde". It had the coolest shape I'd ever seen on an electric guitar. It was like a mandolin with a scroll. An absolutely beautiful guitar. The price tag was $300, a huge sum for me in those days.

At that particular moment, I had my then-current guitar (a no-name or small-name strat copy) in to have an intonation done or some such minor stuff. I had paid about $75 for it and a reall bad amp from a friend in my ward.

Kind of off-the-cuff, I asked him how much he'd give me for it in a trade-up toward that Epiphone. I kind of remembered trying to play down my interest in the guitar that had caught my eye. I didn't want him to think I wanted it TOO bad.

He looked over the two guitars and hemmed and hawed, and finally pronounced, "Ohhhhhhh, I guess I'd give you a hundred fifty for it."

"Okay!" Done. I put it on layaway, with my old guitar as a down payment. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to pay it off. But over the course of that summer, I managed to earn the remaining $150, and it was mine.

Right away, I named it. I was big into fantasy literature, and I morphed a couple of elvish words into it's name: "Dinrist" The Silence Cleaver!

I soon found "my sound". By using the coil tap and the pickup selector, and tweaking the settings on my amp, I could make it sound pretty much like Brian May. It was a sweet axe. I used it in garage bands, and once, when a poetry writing class assignment was to write a romantic poem, I wrote to it.

I can still clearly remember playing that guitar when I had my epiphany that I needed to set it aside and go on my mission. When I realized that music, as important as it was to me, wasn't as important as my burgeoning testimony.

When my mission in Honduras neared its end, people started teasing me about going home to my girlfriend. Like so many others, she and I had parted ways about half-way through my adventure. Instead, I told them, "La unica q' me espera es mi guitarra!" (The only girl waiting for me is my guitar).

I've bought, sold and traded many guitars since then. I've played in many failed and floundered bands. I've recorded songs with it and other guitars. But this one has been with me, faithfully, the longest of them all.

So, the other day, my son picked it up, and I showed him how to make a rock power chord shape, and play "Tom Sawyer". A few days later, he's got it pretty much down.

So, all those years that I played this guitar, and all the years that I'd hoped for a son suddenly converged. Here was my son playing my guitar, and making it sound good.

Here's to you both!


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

How to Get Through Almost Anything

I had a really grueling day at work. It wasn't particularly difficult, nor stressful, but it was long, and filled with back-to-back phone appointments. I literally started at 1:00 this afternoon, and I got off the phone at 8:15 tonight. No dinner break. Only a couple of short potty breaks.

Fortunately, this kind of day is not typical. Not unheard of, but definitely not typical.

And I knew it was coming. For two days, now, I've seen the calendar, and I was praying that someone would cancel their appointment. They did yesterday. But not today. Straight through.

It reminded me of other times where I knew something would be difficult. For example, once when I was asked to watch our neighbor's kids. They're great kids, but they're very active and energetic. I knew it was going to be a long, long evening, filled with chasing and other futile attempts at keeping these kids entertained. It was exhausting. But I managed to keep my cool.

How?

I knew that it was going to end.

Today, I knew that it was going to be a long and straining day. That night with the kids I knew would be difficult. But I also knew that the clock would march on, and that eventually, no matter how trying things became, it would reach an end. And I would have rest.

I should be able to extrapolate that into the larger arena of my life. Eventually, I know that these difficulties will end and I'll have some respite. I do know that there will be more difficulties, just like I know that there will be more dredging days at work, and other opportunities to give my friends and neighbors a break. But I know that it will pass, and I can get through it.


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

"...Drifting Along with the Tumbling Tumbleweeds"

So, it was pretty windy on the way to work this morning. This is the time of the year when there's lots of tumbleweeds outside our town, too. They break off in the winter, and then the snow melts, and the march winds come. I looked out across the empty fields and saw the weeds rolling in the wind. It looked like a herd of animals all running along together.

It was kinda odd. I got to think about freedom. I know people who would look at those tumbleweeds and say that they are so free. They would say that there was nothing holding them back, and that they are free to roam wherever the wind would take them.

But that's actually where I have the problem with that as a symbol for freedom.

These weeds have no freedom. They go nowhere as a result of their own freewill. They are at the complete mercy and whim of outside forces, in this case, the wind.

I remember once a songwriting client of mine wrote a song about being as free and wild as the river. Ronnie James Dio did a song (which is a cool sounding song, even though I disagree with it) where he bemoans seeing lightning, because he sees that it's free, as he wishes he was.

Got news for you, they all go along the path of least resistance. The 'weeds, the river, and lightning all go along paths determined by other factors. No freedom here.

Maybe that's why I can relate so well to the 'weeds right now. I'm having a hard time taking a stand and walking against the wind.


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

2009 – What's the Word?

I've been contemplating what I want to improve on this year. In that process, I started to make this list of all the things about be I want to fix in the upcoming year. Here's the basic list, as it got started:

1.To be healthier
2.To be less grumpy
3.To be more grateful
4.To be more frugal
5.To be more musical
6.To be more spiritual
7.To have Jacob be healthier
8.To help Jodi and Brendon be more content
9.To be a better provider
10.To be more in control
11.To be a better chef

It went on and on. The futility of that exercise struck me pretty quickly. There is simply no smegging way I'm going to be able to do all that and still maintain my sanity.

I remembered a blog I read a while back, where the lady (Christine Cane) suggested that instead of setting a new year's resolution that fails, instead you choose a word that will be your focus in the upcoming year. You think about that word, you do things that strengthen your connection to that word, and in the end, you're much better at the end of the year, instead of wondering whether or not you achieved a fixed goal.

So, I'm thinking about it, and I'm considering a few words, and I'll pick one by one week from this post. Here are my ideas:

1.Health
2.Spirit
3.Money
4.Music

It's an interesting concept. I could explore, throughout the year what that word means to me. I can explore it both in thought, and written word, and, of course, in action. I'd like your input. Tell me what word you'd like to focus on, and which one you think I should choose. Just pop it into the comments.

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com/

Service, Part Two

Where yesterday's post was about someone doing me service, today's bit is about me doing a little kindness for someone else. I know that sounds a bit like bragging, but in a few more blog entries, you'll see where I'm going with this.

Anyway, this morning, I stopped at a convenience store to get a morning snack. Diet Pepsi and a chocolate chip muffin. The breakfast of Champions.* There was this guy standing in line in front of me. While we were both waiting in line to pay, he and I kept glancing back and forth at each other. I kept thinking, "I've seen that guy somewhere, but I don't know where."

Finally, he speaks up and says, "I keep thinking I've seen you somewhere, but I can't place where..."

I was just thinking the exact same thing!

And we start exchanging bits of information, trying to figure out where we'd met. I live in Eagle Mountain City Center, he lives in the Ranches part of the city. He works at the elementary school in City Center, as the Assistant Principal. Oh, that must be it. I'm Jacob's dad! That was when recognition set in. We talked a minute about Jake.

To understand, you have to know that one of the biggest blessings in our children's life has been the experience they've had at the school. Especially Jake. The school administration has really rolled out the red carpet for him. They really take care of special needs kids at this school. It's a big difference between our experience here and our experience in other schools and in other school districts.

As we stepped up to the cash register, he was in front of me, and started to make his payment. I suddenly got an idea to repay him. I simply stepped up and told him to cancel his payment. And I covered his soda and snack.

It's not much, but Jodi and I really appreciate what he and his school have done for us.

And later, when Jodi went to take Jake some medicine, the Assistant Principal thanked her.


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com


*Seriously. It's a well-balanced meal. It has elements of all 4 food groups necessary for sustaining life in today's fast-paced workaday world: Sugar, Chocolate, Caffiene, and Preservatives.

A Day Without a Gay

I saw a news report today about tomorrow's "Day Without a Gay" strike. I don't know that "strike" is really the right word, but it's all I can think of. From the website: "Day Without A Gay seeks to shift our strong feelings about injustice toward service! Let's fight for equality by out-loving those who would deny us rights. Call in "gay" on December 10th (International Human Rights Day) and volunteer for your local LGBT and/or human rights organizations".

In other words, if you're gay, or if you support gay rights (whatever that means), you're supposed to not go to work tomorrow (December 10th). You're also not supposed to shop at stores that don't support gay rights. The idea is to show the economic impact the LGBT community has.

I remember the Mexican/Hispanic community tried something similar to show their impact as immigration issues were being debated.

This raised a number of thoughts in me. One is that usually when I stay home, I call in "sick". Now they want people to call in "gay". I thought they'd just spent the better part of a decade trying to convince us that being gay wasn't the same as being sick. Hmmmm...

I also thought that I could do this, too, just like the gays. I could call in "Mormon". Can you imagine that? "Hello, boss! It's Mark. I just wanted to tell you that I'm feeling really Mormon today, and frankly, I'm just too Mormon to work. I'll see you tomorrow! Thanks!"

But think what would happen to the Utah economy if we were to do that. We'd have to pick a day that really resonates with Mormons. Maybe Joseph Smith's birthday on Dec 23rd. Or even better! We could all not go to work on the anniversary of the day the Mormon Pioneers first stepped into the Salt Lake Valley!

Oh, wait... We're already doing that.

Hey, here's a better idea! Instead of only doing it one day a year, we should really show how much economic clout we have! We should do it more often! Like, monthly or even weekly! What would happen to Utah's economy if all the Mormons stopped shopping or working one day a week. Hey, how about Sunday!

Oh, wait...


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Religion and Politics...

I’ve been thinking about some things, political things, lately, and I started contemplating these two (seemingly) contradictory scriptures:

“O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh.” 2 Ne. 4: 34

- And -

“Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;” D&C 58: 27

On one level, these seem to say the opposite thing. The first scripture says to rely on the Lord for all guidance and success. The second scripture says to go out on your own and do stuff.

I got to thinking about this when I started thinking about the nature of politics and religion. If we are all praying to the same God for guidance in our world and our politics, why are so many of us getting so many different responses? If we’re not supposed to trust our own “arm”, then we should rely on Him, right? So, why all the differences?

It even makes me wonder if I should be praying for help as I choose my candidates. As I’ve been contemplating it, I’ve come to two parallel conclusions that seem to answer it in my mind.

Some things are directed by God.

Some things He leaves up to us.

See, God’s all about us learning things. That’s the whole purpose in the creation of the earth. I think a large part of that is letting us make choices and letting us make mistakes, as well as find successes. There are some things that He definitely takes a strong hand in. This happens on the big, historical picture, as well as on the scale of the individual person. There are some things He just doesn’t care about, like what color shirt I wear. In between all of that, there are a lot of choices that we have to make, and He often lets us make them on our own. Sometimes, He even inspires us to make certain choices that are right for us, but which might not be right for someone else. Sometimes he lets our choices be clouded by our own life’s experiences. Why? Because that’s how we learn from them.

So, I think that I shouldn’t be praying about which candidate He wants me to vote for. Instead, I should be praying for clarity and understanding so that I can make a better choice based on my own life’s learning.

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

The Gospel Vision of the Arts

Greg Hanson asks, “Is the Gospel Vision of the Arts No Longer Valid?” What he’s referring to is a talk (and subsequent Ensign article) given by Spencer W Kimball in 1977. The talk has been an inspiration for years to LDS artists everywhere. In a lot of ways, as I read it, I’m also reminded of John F Kennedy’s inaugural address where he promises to send a man to the moon and bring him home safely. Pres. Kimball’s tone is in that same order. He wants artists to push themselves and reach beyond ourselves to achieve greatness.

I read his words, and I find them inspiring. I want his vision to happen as well. I want Zion to put on her beautiful garments and arise and shine forth for the world like he does.

And then I look around at my own life and I face reality. Here are a few of the realities we face. I realize that many of these will sound like me just making excuses. Still, these are things that need to be overcome.

1. Not everything will be great

I look at the music that I create, for example, and I realize that there are many flaws. Am I creating greatness? Many people have responded to my songs with enthusiasm, and told me they found the songs inspiring. But is that lasting “greatness?” Not really. One thing we have to realize as an artistic community is that even though we strive for excellence, not everything that we produce, as a community will be “great”. Some of it will only be “really good”. Some of it will even be “pretty lame”. But if those that are making “lame”, or even “just good”, art decide to quit because it’s not “great”, then no-one will ever grow and learn enough to achieve greatness.

So, we, as an artistic community, should do our best to foster effort, and assist in that growth, rather than to cut down and reject less-than perfect efforts. The natural market forces will sort out what’s good and bad on their own. It doesn’t need our help.

2. Test of time

Much of what we currently define as “Masterpieces” have been around a long, long time. In western civilization alone, we have in our museums samples of works of art that are hundreds and even thousands of years old. Time has helped us to sort the good from the bad. President Kimball says that Bach and Mozart defined their musical eras, and are often revered in the same way that founders of religions are. I’m not saying that’s not right, or that it shouldn’t be that way. But Bach lived and worked in the 1700’s.

Considering that the church was founded in the early to mid 1800’s, that gives Johann quite a few more years to develop a following. And even he didn’t have much of a fan base in his own lifetime. Much of LDS art is relatively new, and I don’t think there has really been enough time to sort out the great ones just yet.

3. Need to define “Greatness”

Another challenge comes when we try and define what is great and what is not. “Artistic” greatness is such a moving target, and sheer popularity can be quite fleeting. It also doesn’t necessarily define what is a truly well-crafted masterwork. Would “Saturday’s Warrior” qualify as one of the masterpiece that President Kimball is envisioning? It was a key piece in the mormon cultural landscape, and in it’s context, was very influential. It was extremely popular, and in many ways, still is. Is it great art? I’m not sure I want to get in on that debate… What about the works of Janice Kapp Perry, or Michael McLean? Or the now-iconic Arnold Friberg paintings that were included in the paperback Book of Mormon?

What role do the popular arts and folk arts play in this continuum?

4. Should the Church itself support it more?

Many years ago, as the Salt Lake Temple was nearing completion, there were a number of people called and sent on missions to France. Their purpose was not so much to preach the gospel, but to learn to paint. Their goal was to be able to come back to Salt Lake and paint the murals on the interior walls of the temple.

Throughout the history of the church, there have been times when the church has needed a particular artistic thing created, and at that point, they either call or hire someone to create it.

Should the church commission more works of art? I’m not sure of that, either. On the one hand, it’s great to be free to create as I please. On the other hand, few members of the church can make a full-time living making art for the church or its members (on the open market).

5. Overcoming ignorance and apathy

A final challenge is one that I’ve encountered in the LDS music world, and have seen in other artistic genres as well. That is the fact the church is currently at about a dozen million members. That’s big. But how many of them know the names of any church musicians, authors, or artists? How many of those only know a few?

We, as the artistic community, have a lot of work ahead of us to let our audience know that we even exist before they can decide if we are “great” or not. Greg Hansen cites the internet as a wonderful tool for advancing the arts. I agree. But even though we now have power saws and pneumatic nail guns instead of a hand saw and manual hammer, we still have to build the house. And that will be a big task.

The Big Audacious Goal

I know this has been long, but let me end with a story. A long time ago, I was working at an elementary school, and in our start of the year training, the principal came to us with the idea of setting a BAG (a Big Audacious Goal). She cited Pres Kennedy and his “Trip to the Moon” speech as a great example. She said that it was crazy for him to set that goal, but look where it got us, in terms of technology and world prestige. She wanted us, as an educational team, to find and set a similarly audacious goal for ourselves. She stressed that even if we failed to achieve that dream, we would still have progressed much farther than we would have had we not set the goal.

One suggestion was that our goal be to have every child reading at grade level. For a poorly-funded, inner-city school, that was pretty big and audacious for a BAG. In the end, the faculty couldn’t get behind it.

Still, I think of Apollo, and President Kimball’s vision, and I think of how big and audacious those goals were, and are. I want to be up to the challenge. I want to take it on.

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

A Few Random Christmastime Thoughts

I love Christmas, and this year is going to be especially fun. I don’t know why it’s any different. Maybe it’s because we’re finally settled into our new house, or maybe because we’re buying presents, but we’re not really going overboard so much this year.

Although, if you’ll let me digress a minute, one of my all-time favorite Christmases was the first one with Jodi as my wife. We went absolutely crazy, and way way overspent on each other. The funny thing, though, is that what I remember about that Christmas was not any particular regret about spending too much money, or how hard it was to pay off (and it was hard), but rather how much fun I had picking out her presents, and how wonderful her presents to me were. I can still remember what most of them were. I had a ring custom made for her, she bought me tickets to see Jethro Tull… It was a great Christmas. We had our tree, our first tree as a married couple, up and lit before Halloween. It was a blast.

But I digress.

One of the things I think about as I’m listening to Christmas Carols and making Wassail, is just how connected many of our Christian celebrations are. We give thanks, we give gifts. But ultimately, none of that would make any difference if it weren’t for Easter. If Jesus hadn’t suffered in Gethsemane, bearing my sins, weaknesses, and sorrows, then we would have no reason to celebrate his birth. Ultimately, with no way to bridge the gap back to God, the Father, there would be no reason to be thankful, no reason to celebrate.

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Thanks, Alex…

I was listening to the “Cricket and Seagull Fireside Chat” for this week, hosted over at Meridian Magazine. The guest is Alex Boye.

This guy constantly amazes me. I love listening to him tell about growing up in England, joining the church, singing in the boy band, and then coming to America and singing solo here. Now, he’s a married man and singing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And he just put out another CD. Pretty good stuff, from what I’ve heard of it.

One of the things he said in the podcast, though, struck me pretty hard. He talked about how he started to get famous in England in the boy band, and how that was getting more and more worldly, leading him away from God and the Church. And how he wasn’t sure what to do after he quit, but that he’d put it all in God’s hands. He said, when he’d tried to run his own life, he’d made a mess of it, and so he turned it over to God, and it became much easier.

So, I’m wondering how to do that?

I’d imagine that if I want to do what God wants me to do, I’d have to pray a lot. Otherwise I’d not have any idea what it is God wants me to do in the first place. I’d have to do the things I already know God wants me to do, like love my family and my neighbors, keep the commandments, and all that.

I keep wondering what would come next? Maybe if I do that stuff, the other things I worry about on a constant basis wouldn’t be quite so worrisome. Like whether or not I’ll have a job next week, or whether or not my current salary is gonna be enough. Or whether or not anyone’s downloading my songs, or when I’m actually gonna finish a new one.

Hmmm….

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Strange Friends...

I have a really good friend. We met in high school, and we’ve remained friends ever since. We sat next to each other in our American History class, and we used to play chess on paper during the lectures. We were in the Model UN conferences together. We did all the high school geek stuff.

Then, in college, we’d debate. Philosophical stuff. The nature of truth, reality, etc… I from my own Mormon perspective, he from his own point of view.

He joined the Army, and we saw each other a time or two after that, but then there was not a whole lot for a lot of years.

Finally, and I don’t remember how, we hooked up via IM and started chatting on the ‘net. We still talk religion and philosophy, and, aside from a few bumps early on, we’re both pretty respectful. In the process I learned that what was going on for him in those late high school/early college years was that he left Christianity and became a Wiccan.

In the process of our discussions now, we talk a lot about what we each believe. He’s much more reflective and respectful of Mormonism, and I’m a lot less “afraid” of Wicca.

Recently he took some time to tell me his “conversion story” of his path from Catholic, through evangelical Christianity to Paganism. I was surprised to find a lot of similarities in my own experience. I found it interesting to realize that his experiences led him away from a belief in Christ, where mine brought me deeper into it. As I revisited and remembered my own experiences, they became real again for me.

I mention all this because he blogged about me about a week ago, and had some kind words to say. Even though he used to bait me into arguments like he tends to do with Christians, there was a part of me that enjoyed the banter. First of all, he asked me a lot of the tough questions, and as I answered them, it became much clearer to me what the real answers were. Also, I enjoyed it because he would often approach his questions from a mainstream Christian perspective, and then be surprised to find that question answered by Mormon Christianity.

Of course, there were still a lot of things that we simply ended up agreeing to disagree.

Still, I remember at one point ribbing him that he’d make a good Mormon. The ironic part of that is that this Wiccan has made me a better Mormon.

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com