There’s been yet another mass shooting in a school, and so everyone is filling my ears with their opinions and their memes. I have a lot of thoughts bouncing around my head. Here are some.
First, whenever someone starts their argument with the phrase, “The problem is...”, my respect for their opinion automatically drops. No one problem is THE problem. There is not one (pardon the pun) “silver bullet” solution. All proposed solutions are incomplete and flawed. We need to look a lot of the roots of the problems and fix them, and then realize that even those solutions will not “fix” everything.
If we do a lot of things, they will make school shootings less likely, but they will probably still happen. The nice thing about a lot of these solutions is that they will make our nation, as a whole, a nicer place to live.
OK, here are my ideas.
1 - Making guns illegal will not help. I know that’s tough for a leftie to say, but I believe it. When Jodi and I were first married, we took in teenage foster kids. Most were great kids, but most also had criminal records. I knew that at any given moment, I could have given some money to pretty much any one of those kids and within an hour or two they could have come back to me with a gun.
Having said that, I do think it’s valuable to register guns and to license gun owners, just like we do with cars. Will that prevent gun crimes? Maybe not, but it might help prosecute them.
I also think that making certain kinds of weapons illegal is reasonable.
2 - A lot of focus has been pointed at mental health as an issue. Many have rightly pointed out that there are a lot of people with mental health issues that are not violent. I think, at times, that I’m probably chronically depressed, possibly bipolar, and I’ve never shot anyone.
However, I think that every school shooter has some significant mental health issues. To stand in a crowded school hallway, full of your classmates and to start killing them is NOT HEALTHY. That’s NOT NORMAL.
Getting good mental health care in this country is very difficult. Often, insurances won’t cover it, or will barely cover one or two sessions with a counselor. There is no framework (or at least a very weak framework) for identifying those that are struggling and getting them help. This is true of potential shooters, but also potential suicides, and just plain sufferers. Having a token “school psychiatrist” who has to float between 4-5 schools in a district is not enough to identify and serve those that need it.
Many people identified and spoke out about the most recent school shooter long before he took the gun to the school. Why was nothing done? Who was supposed to do it? The school? The police? His family?
And politically, many of the same people who say, “It’s not a gun problem, it’s a mental health issue” are the same people who vote for those that defund mental health services.
So, our schools, and our society, needs a more full and robust support system for mental health, that’s affordable and available.
3 - And while we’re talking about wellness, there’s something very important that we’re missing out on in schools: Social Studies. I mean REAL social studies. Instead of creating fake “zero tolerance for bullying” policies, there should be curriculum that’s taught from kindergarten through high school about how to get along. And EVERYONE should be in on it, not just the peer tutors. The parents should engage in it. We should be teaching everyone how to be nice to each other, and work together. Everyone should learn how to see things from someone else’s point of view.
Maybe as part of high school graduation, there should be a time period of service. You should be required to step outside of your own little world and work for the support of someone else for a time. That would mean that I wouldn’t get to just keep going to church and count that as my service. I would have to seek a new opportunity.
And learning about how society and our government actually works would be good, too.
4 - You can’t blame violent shooting on any one movie or video game. However, we do have a popular culture that glorifies violence and makes it exciting. Fighting and violence is conflict, and conflict makes for good stories.
Here’s what’s really bad about it, though: It shows that violence has no consequence. If the hero of a movie kills a couple of security guards while he sneaks into the bad guy’s factory, that’s all that’s shown. The nameless, faceless guards fall down, and the hero steps over them and moves on in the story. The guards are never talked about again. But in real life, those guards have families that now have lost their father, wives that have lost their husbands, parents who have lost sons. In real life, they will mourn, have funerals, and struggle to move on. But that’s a different story, so the movie doesn’t show that. They’re just dead and are now immaterial, disposable.
Often in games and movies, violence is shown as the only possible solution to a problem. Faced with an opponent who blocks your agenda? Punch him, or shoot him. Negotiate? Why?
I don’t think legislation will change this, and I’m not sure that it should. But, we should all be aware of it, and think twice about it. I am also fully aware of my own hypocrisy in saying this. We can all do better.
5 - A lot of these proposed solutions will cost money. Personally, I think it will be money well spent. Establishing a robust mental health system, for example, will require a lot of counselors, social workers, and support personnel. Having armed guards in the schools will require hiring a lot of armed guards. Teaching social skills will require hiring specialist teachers.
So, let’s think about that, though. In addition to considering it an “investment in our own survival”, you’re also creating a lot of valuable jobs. All these people you’re hiring will now be employed, and be paying taxes, and buying groceries and cars and taking vacations and spending money on other things. Those business that provide the groceries, cars, vacations, and other things will now be doing more business, and paying more taxes. A vibrant, thriving economy is one where a lot of money is flowing.
Anyway. Those are all of my thoughts for now. Feel free to leave yours in the comments below
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog. Also, check out his new fantasy fiction blog: The Hero's Tale: Family-Friendly Role-Playing Game
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Saturday, February 24, 2018
Friday, June 03, 2016
Role-Playing Games, Part III
This post is very difficult for me to write, because it’s impossible to set up the context enough for anyone but me and my son to fully grasp.
Really, ya had ta be there.
But I can’t NOT share it. Partly because I set it up so well with the earlier posts on Role-Playing Games (part I here, and part II here), but also because it filled my soul with so much joy. So, I’m going to do my best, in spite of it all.
First, I believe that it is my God-given responsibility to raise my family in righteousness. It is my job to help all of my children learn to understand that their life choices now will impact their lives later, and the lives of those around them. It’s my job to help them learn to make choices that will lead to happiness and joy, as opposed to selfishness and bitterness. Ultimately, within my beliefs, it’s my responsibility to teach them things that will lead them to Eternal Life and Exaltation. This is a very difficult task, and one where I have not always, or even not very often, felt success.
So, as you read in these posts, as my sons started to bug me to play Dungeons and Dragons and other role-playing games, and as we reworked the game to satisfy my issues, I looked at it at first as a simply opportunity to have some fun and do some family bonding. Some guys take their sons fishing and hunting. In our house, we roll d20s.
Very quickly, however, I realized that I had the opportunity, as the gamemaster, to shape the flow of the stories to be able to teach my kids eternal truths about the nature of good and evil, and how to realize which side you’re on. I saw how I could show that choices have consequences, both good and bad. Standing up for what they believe in, even in the fiction of a game, is important.
This last adventure, over the course of the last few months, was particularly steeped in religious and spiritual imagery. They were grappling with issues of selfishness and darkness vs light and service.
I could spend pages describing the story as the characters chased across the land, even through dimensional travel in search of powerful artifacts known as the “Dona Creatori” (The Gifts of the Creator). The party, in a final climactic battle, entrapped the demon that had come to corrupt and control the high priests of the major church of the land.
At that point, Brendon’s character was faced with a choice. He was in a position to take over. He could easily keep running the church and bask in all the wealth and power that would bring him. Or, he could step back and allow the uncorrupted lower priests to step up and lead the church into a new era of righteousness.
He ended up choosing the latter option, and we wrapped up the loose ends of the adventure and “closed the book”, so to speak.
Today, we were talking about that decision, and he was explaining to me how his character (who started out conflicted and even a bit of a bad guy) ended up choosing the right. He told me about his thoughts through the sessions that had led up to that conflict and as he had interacted with the ghostly Champions of the Creator that helped the party find the Dona. He told me that he had wanted his character to be worthy of the donum, as the Champion had said (again, to really “get” this, you would have either had to be there, or I would have to write the novel).
As he was telling me all of this, I thought to myself: THIS is why we play RPGs as a family. Such a powerful time for both of us to learn, by doing, by living vicariously through our character sheets and our dice. We learn, we grow, and we grow together.
My heart swelled up, and I almost cried as he was telling me. Two years after beginning to make The Hero’s Tale, we arrive at this point. THIS is why I game. THIS is me, being a father.
I guess sometimes, I do get to get it right.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: name post, name post,
Really, ya had ta be there.
But I can’t NOT share it. Partly because I set it up so well with the earlier posts on Role-Playing Games (part I here, and part II here), but also because it filled my soul with so much joy. So, I’m going to do my best, in spite of it all.
First, I believe that it is my God-given responsibility to raise my family in righteousness. It is my job to help all of my children learn to understand that their life choices now will impact their lives later, and the lives of those around them. It’s my job to help them learn to make choices that will lead to happiness and joy, as opposed to selfishness and bitterness. Ultimately, within my beliefs, it’s my responsibility to teach them things that will lead them to Eternal Life and Exaltation. This is a very difficult task, and one where I have not always, or even not very often, felt success.
So, as you read in these posts, as my sons started to bug me to play Dungeons and Dragons and other role-playing games, and as we reworked the game to satisfy my issues, I looked at it at first as a simply opportunity to have some fun and do some family bonding. Some guys take their sons fishing and hunting. In our house, we roll d20s.
Very quickly, however, I realized that I had the opportunity, as the gamemaster, to shape the flow of the stories to be able to teach my kids eternal truths about the nature of good and evil, and how to realize which side you’re on. I saw how I could show that choices have consequences, both good and bad. Standing up for what they believe in, even in the fiction of a game, is important.
This last adventure, over the course of the last few months, was particularly steeped in religious and spiritual imagery. They were grappling with issues of selfishness and darkness vs light and service.
I could spend pages describing the story as the characters chased across the land, even through dimensional travel in search of powerful artifacts known as the “Dona Creatori” (The Gifts of the Creator). The party, in a final climactic battle, entrapped the demon that had come to corrupt and control the high priests of the major church of the land.
At that point, Brendon’s character was faced with a choice. He was in a position to take over. He could easily keep running the church and bask in all the wealth and power that would bring him. Or, he could step back and allow the uncorrupted lower priests to step up and lead the church into a new era of righteousness.
He ended up choosing the latter option, and we wrapped up the loose ends of the adventure and “closed the book”, so to speak.
Today, we were talking about that decision, and he was explaining to me how his character (who started out conflicted and even a bit of a bad guy) ended up choosing the right. He told me about his thoughts through the sessions that had led up to that conflict and as he had interacted with the ghostly Champions of the Creator that helped the party find the Dona. He told me that he had wanted his character to be worthy of the donum, as the Champion had said (again, to really “get” this, you would have either had to be there, or I would have to write the novel).
As he was telling me all of this, I thought to myself: THIS is why we play RPGs as a family. Such a powerful time for both of us to learn, by doing, by living vicariously through our character sheets and our dice. We learn, we grow, and we grow together.
My heart swelled up, and I almost cried as he was telling me. Two years after beginning to make The Hero’s Tale, we arrive at this point. THIS is why I game. THIS is me, being a father.
I guess sometimes, I do get to get it right.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: name post, name post,
Monday, September 08, 2014
How to Have Safe Sex
OK, this is going to be a hard one to write, for several reasons. One is that I’m still sorting out a lot of my thoughts on the topic, particularly as it relates to many of my friends who don’t share my faith. Another reason is that I know I’m going to make some people mad, and there will be many both in and out of my faith that will disagree with me.
I’m OK with that.
I’m going to tell several stories and experiences which have shaped my life and opinions on sex and relationships. It’s kinda funny, because I don’t feel like I’m particularly qualified to be giving advice on this topic. I’ve never been all that great at relationships. I get really focused on my own baggage and sometimes forget that other people need me for things. So, I’m not sure why I get to write this, except for the fact that I’ve been married, now, for 27 years, to the same woman, and she hasn’t kicked me out, yet. I guess that means something, right?
I started thinking about the nature of sex and relationships more in the last few weeks because of this video clip (please watch it before reading on):
This guy nails a lot of the frustration men and women have been feeling in recent years as we struggle to deal with issues like sex, modesty, rape culture, respect, blame, and a whole lot of other things that circle around the way we live together.
As I watched it, I saw how important it is to respect one another, and to treat others, men and women, with that kindness.
I also thought of an editorial cartoon I saw many years ago, and I tried to google it, that I think spoke to the issue. There was a young kid, talking to a pharmacist, and the pharmacist says that he has something that, when used as intended, would guarantee him 100% safe sex. He was intrigued. What was this miracle drug?
A wedding ring.
I grew up and came of age in the late 70’s and early 80’s. In spite of all of the sexualization that was rampant even in those decades, I was a virgin when I married my wife. She was, too. Since that time, we’ve had our struggles, but we’ve remained faithful. She is the only woman I’ve ever been with, sexually. We’ve had to adapt to each other personally, physically, and emotionally, it’s true. That’s what marriage is. A few weeks ago, we celebrated our 27th anniversary. She makes me, and our family, complete.
And I thought about that video, with all it’s confusion and chaos and the need for “The Rules”, and I wondered (here’s the controversial part) how many of those nagging confusions would simply go away if people, men and women, would commit to each other, and make sex exclusive to that commitment.
Imagine if men were taught, and believed, that women were sacred and to be respected. That sex was something she gave him, and he gave her as a part of their promise to make a lasting life together. Imagine if women were taught that men were to be respected and not to be manipulated, teased, or used and discarded as toys. What if she were taught early in life that sex isn’t currency used to buy status or security, but a beautiful part of connected lives.
What if, as single men and women socialized with each other (especially as teens), then dated, they didn’t have to worry about the complications of a sexual relationship? What if there were no need to guess if your date was going to pressure you or not? What if men didn’t want to drop drugs into girl’s drinks? What if the immediate need to sleep with someone tonight was replaced with the deeper desire to wake up next to a partner for years to come, knowing that this partner had promised the same thing to you.
It seems so often that people want the convenience of casual sex and the meaning and mutual respect that comes from commitment. I'm not sure that you can have it both ways.
To me, when sex is reduced to a party game, it’s no wonder that we have so much confusion over “The Rules”.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
I’m OK with that.
I’m going to tell several stories and experiences which have shaped my life and opinions on sex and relationships. It’s kinda funny, because I don’t feel like I’m particularly qualified to be giving advice on this topic. I’ve never been all that great at relationships. I get really focused on my own baggage and sometimes forget that other people need me for things. So, I’m not sure why I get to write this, except for the fact that I’ve been married, now, for 27 years, to the same woman, and she hasn’t kicked me out, yet. I guess that means something, right?
I started thinking about the nature of sex and relationships more in the last few weeks because of this video clip (please watch it before reading on):
This guy nails a lot of the frustration men and women have been feeling in recent years as we struggle to deal with issues like sex, modesty, rape culture, respect, blame, and a whole lot of other things that circle around the way we live together.
As I watched it, I saw how important it is to respect one another, and to treat others, men and women, with that kindness.
I also thought of an editorial cartoon I saw many years ago, and I tried to google it, that I think spoke to the issue. There was a young kid, talking to a pharmacist, and the pharmacist says that he has something that, when used as intended, would guarantee him 100% safe sex. He was intrigued. What was this miracle drug?
A wedding ring.
I grew up and came of age in the late 70’s and early 80’s. In spite of all of the sexualization that was rampant even in those decades, I was a virgin when I married my wife. She was, too. Since that time, we’ve had our struggles, but we’ve remained faithful. She is the only woman I’ve ever been with, sexually. We’ve had to adapt to each other personally, physically, and emotionally, it’s true. That’s what marriage is. A few weeks ago, we celebrated our 27th anniversary. She makes me, and our family, complete.
And I thought about that video, with all it’s confusion and chaos and the need for “The Rules”, and I wondered (here’s the controversial part) how many of those nagging confusions would simply go away if people, men and women, would commit to each other, and make sex exclusive to that commitment.
Imagine if men were taught, and believed, that women were sacred and to be respected. That sex was something she gave him, and he gave her as a part of their promise to make a lasting life together. Imagine if women were taught that men were to be respected and not to be manipulated, teased, or used and discarded as toys. What if she were taught early in life that sex isn’t currency used to buy status or security, but a beautiful part of connected lives.
What if, as single men and women socialized with each other (especially as teens), then dated, they didn’t have to worry about the complications of a sexual relationship? What if there were no need to guess if your date was going to pressure you or not? What if men didn’t want to drop drugs into girl’s drinks? What if the immediate need to sleep with someone tonight was replaced with the deeper desire to wake up next to a partner for years to come, knowing that this partner had promised the same thing to you.
It seems so often that people want the convenience of casual sex and the meaning and mutual respect that comes from commitment. I'm not sure that you can have it both ways.
To me, when sex is reduced to a party game, it’s no wonder that we have so much confusion over “The Rules”.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Heavenly Father
I was reading in Psalms the other night, and came across this in number 127, starting in verse 3:
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."
I've read this one before, and even heard it quoted from the pulpit. Usually, I've heard it in reference to earthly fatherhood. It's all about a man looking back on his posterity and finding "joy and rejoicing". It's a cool feeling. I've been there.
That night, however, I got to thinking about it from God's perspective. And suddenly, I thought about this also-famous verse in the Book of Moses:
"For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."
We are his children, and we are his heritage. We are also his work and his glory. It's a cool feeling.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Mo' Boy - Parenting
Perhaps it's the upcoming holidays, or perhaps it's the fact that I just had the wonderful opportunity to confer the Aaronic Priesthood on my son, but I've been thinking about fatherhood and parenting lately.
So, I thought I'd pull up some of my past posts on the topic in the last couple of years. It's been an interesting journey!
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: Bah Humbug, Cloud Computing, Dutch Oven Turkey,
So, I thought I'd pull up some of my past posts on the topic in the last couple of years. It's been an interesting journey!
- My Weird Father's Day
- My Son and My Guitar
- What is Fatherhood?
- Common Uniqueness
- Swearing and Parenting
- Brendon's Pizza
- Brendon's Comedy
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: Bah Humbug, Cloud Computing, Dutch Oven Turkey,
Thursday, September 17, 2009
An Epiphany in the Temple
One of the funny, odd, and even cool things about going to the temple is that you learn things you've known all along, but you learn them on a deeper level. You "get it" better than you did before, or you see that something you've always know is more important than you thought it was.
That last one is actually what happened to me last night.
My wife and I went with our ward to do sealings on assignment. As we were in there, listening to the ceremony, I just got overwhelmed with the Spirit and I suddenly realized just how connected the family is to everything in the Gospel. In fact, the family is at the very core of the Gospel. Everything that we do is related to our family. Our temporal family, our eternal family, our extended spiritual family. Everything comes back to that.
And everything about humanity is drawn from that core. Our relationships. Even our genders, sex and genetics. It all comes back to family.
We are all created into a big, vast spiritual family, as children of God. It's his purpose to bring about our exaltation. To that end, we're born into physical families. As a core part of bringing us back, those families need to be made eternal, and not just temporary.
The core of the family is the husband and the wife. Everything rests on them. The responsibility of bringing their family back to God is on their shoulders. That's why the sealing of the husband and wife is such a powerful ceremony. Pay attention to it the next time you do a sealing, and maybe you'll see the same epiphany I did.
OK, so I'm not doing badly as a husband and father, but I'm not doing my best, either. Bit by bit, I'll step it up, though.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: Martyrs and Anthems, Invoking the Mo'Boy Doctrine, Again, Dutch Oven Whole Wheat Bread
That last one is actually what happened to me last night.
My wife and I went with our ward to do sealings on assignment. As we were in there, listening to the ceremony, I just got overwhelmed with the Spirit and I suddenly realized just how connected the family is to everything in the Gospel. In fact, the family is at the very core of the Gospel. Everything that we do is related to our family. Our temporal family, our eternal family, our extended spiritual family. Everything comes back to that.
And everything about humanity is drawn from that core. Our relationships. Even our genders, sex and genetics. It all comes back to family.
We are all created into a big, vast spiritual family, as children of God. It's his purpose to bring about our exaltation. To that end, we're born into physical families. As a core part of bringing us back, those families need to be made eternal, and not just temporary.
The core of the family is the husband and the wife. Everything rests on them. The responsibility of bringing their family back to God is on their shoulders. That's why the sealing of the husband and wife is such a powerful ceremony. Pay attention to it the next time you do a sealing, and maybe you'll see the same epiphany I did.
OK, so I'm not doing badly as a husband and father, but I'm not doing my best, either. Bit by bit, I'll step it up, though.
Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.
Mark's Other Blog Posts: Martyrs and Anthems, Invoking the Mo'Boy Doctrine, Again, Dutch Oven Whole Wheat Bread
Saturday, June 20, 2009
My Weird Father's Day
-Or-
The day before it, actually
It started out very early, as I got Jake ready for his day and Cub Scout Day Camp. It was kind of a landmark day for Jake, as we spent time together, shooting BB guns, making rope (he and his powered wheelchair were the hit of the day when he helped them win the Tug-of-War), and doing Archery. Even though it drizzled and rained most of the day, he had a great time.
I, of course, came home exhausted.
...Only to find out that a couple of neighborhood boys had broken into our home while we were out a couple of days ago and stolen a camera and our two boys' laptop computers. So, we had to confront the boys with their parents.
I approached that with a certain amount of trepidation. One boy is constantly over at our house playing with Brendon, and another is one we don't know. With the first boy, we knew the news would be very hard on his father. With the other boy, we didn't know how his family would react. We'd never met them before.
We were relieved to find that both sets of parents were upset at their kids, but in what we felt were the right ways. They were eager to resolve the issue and to put harsh enough consequences in place so that the boys actually learned something from that. Without going into detail, I left the experience saddened for the families, but encouraged that there's still a lot of examples of what I feel is good parenting in the world.
Typically, when a kid breaks the law, people are quick to judge the parents and label them bad. After all, if they were good parents, the kid wouldn't have strayed, now would he? Well, keep in mind that Lehi's kids weren't exactly the best, and Alma's son went around actively harming the church. Yet no one would accuse those fathers of unrighteousness.
I mean, the kids just made some mistakes. Now they have to deal with them.
Then, later, as we were driving home from my Father-in-law's Father's Day BBQ, my kids spontaneously started singing primary songs in the back seat. I suddenly noticed that they were singing, "Love is Spoken Here."
They got to the second verse: "Ours is a home where every hour/Is blessed by the strength of Priesthood power..." I just cried. Literally, tears were rolling down my cheeks.
I can't say what helps the other families run their homes, but I can say what a great strength the Priesthood and the Church has been in mine.
Happy Father's Day...
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
The day before it, actually
It started out very early, as I got Jake ready for his day and Cub Scout Day Camp. It was kind of a landmark day for Jake, as we spent time together, shooting BB guns, making rope (he and his powered wheelchair were the hit of the day when he helped them win the Tug-of-War), and doing Archery. Even though it drizzled and rained most of the day, he had a great time.
I, of course, came home exhausted.
...Only to find out that a couple of neighborhood boys had broken into our home while we were out a couple of days ago and stolen a camera and our two boys' laptop computers. So, we had to confront the boys with their parents.
I approached that with a certain amount of trepidation. One boy is constantly over at our house playing with Brendon, and another is one we don't know. With the first boy, we knew the news would be very hard on his father. With the other boy, we didn't know how his family would react. We'd never met them before.
We were relieved to find that both sets of parents were upset at their kids, but in what we felt were the right ways. They were eager to resolve the issue and to put harsh enough consequences in place so that the boys actually learned something from that. Without going into detail, I left the experience saddened for the families, but encouraged that there's still a lot of examples of what I feel is good parenting in the world.
Typically, when a kid breaks the law, people are quick to judge the parents and label them bad. After all, if they were good parents, the kid wouldn't have strayed, now would he? Well, keep in mind that Lehi's kids weren't exactly the best, and Alma's son went around actively harming the church. Yet no one would accuse those fathers of unrighteousness.
I mean, the kids just made some mistakes. Now they have to deal with them.
Then, later, as we were driving home from my Father-in-law's Father's Day BBQ, my kids spontaneously started singing primary songs in the back seat. I suddenly noticed that they were singing, "Love is Spoken Here."
They got to the second verse: "Ours is a home where every hour/Is blessed by the strength of Priesthood power..." I just cried. Literally, tears were rolling down my cheeks.
I can't say what helps the other families run their homes, but I can say what a great strength the Priesthood and the Church has been in mine.
Happy Father's Day...
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Dinrist, My Guitar
Sometime around 1980 (memory fuzzes after all those years), I was at the used rack in a music store in my hometown of Terre Haute, Indiana, and I saw this absolutely incredible guitar. It was a natural finish maple, a "beautiful blonde". It had the coolest shape I'd ever seen on an electric guitar. It was like a mandolin with a scroll. An absolutely beautiful guitar. The price tag was $300, a huge sum for me in those days.At that particular moment, I had my then-current guitar (a no-name or small-name strat copy) in to have an intonation done or some such minor stuff. I had paid about $75 for it and a reall bad amp from a friend in my ward.
Kind of off-the-cuff, I asked him how much he'd give me for it in a trade-up toward that Epiphone. I kind of remembered trying to play down my interest in the guitar that had caught my eye. I didn't want him to think I wanted it TOO bad.
He looked over the two guitars and hemmed and hawed, and finally pronounced, "Ohhhhhhh, I guess I'd give you a hundred fifty for it."
"Okay!" Done. I put it on layaway, with my old guitar as a down payment. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to pay it off. But over the course of that summer, I managed to earn the remaining $150, and it was mine.
Right away, I named it. I was big into fantasy literature, and I morphed a couple of elvish words into it's name: "Dinrist" The Silence Cleaver!
I soon found "my sound". By using the coil tap and the pickup selector, and tweaking the settings on my amp, I could make it sound pretty much like Brian May. It was a sweet axe. I used it in garage bands, and once, when a poetry writing class assignment was to write a romantic poem, I wrote to it.
I can still clearly remember playing that guitar when I had my epiphany that I needed to set it aside and go on my mission. When I realized that music, as important as it was to me, wasn't as important as my burgeoning testimony.
When my mission in Honduras neared its end, people started teasing me about going home to my girlfriend. Like so many others, she and I had parted ways about half-way through my adventure. Instead, I told them, "La unica q' me espera es mi guitarra!" (The only girl waiting for me is my guitar).
I've bought, sold and traded many guitars since then. I've played in many failed and floundered bands. I've recorded songs with it and other guitars. But this one has been with me, faithfully, the longest of them all.
So, the other day, my son picked it up, and I showed him how to make a rock power chord shape, and play "Tom Sawyer". A few days later, he's got it pretty much down.
So, all those years that I played this guitar, and all the years that I'd hoped for a son suddenly converged. Here was my son playing my guitar, and making it sound good.
Here's to you both!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Chapter and Verse, Revisited
A long time ago, I put together a big long post about LDS games. I expressed my frustration with a lot of the methods that people were using to put LDS games together. They were either basic trivia games, or repackaging an existing successful game model with an LDS face. From time to time, as I've encountered them, I've reviewed some of the LDS games I've encountered here in the pages of Mo'Boy.
And, of course, at one point, I decided to stop just grousing about other people's efforts and put forward my own, and I called it Chapter and Verse. It's a collectible card game based on the scriptures. Each card is a verse of scripture, and you're gathering verses together into chapters to make books. Many verses have a set of special rules, so that most cards allow you to change the play of the game just a little bit.
I hadn't really worked on it very much for the last year or so.
But lately, I've been "resurrecting" it, if you'll pardon the pun. My son and I printed and cut out three full sets of the basic cards (they're prototype, and don't have any fancy graphics), and made some decks just to get back into it and try it out. He kicked my trash, but I didn't mind. I was reminded of two things:
So, I got this idea for a deck, and I think I'll make it tonight before I go to sleep, then maybe we'll try it out tomorrow after school and after work... Hmmmm...
This first set was all made from verses throughout the four standard works. I'm thinking that, over the next months or so, I'll also make a set specific to the Book of Mormon.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
And, of course, at one point, I decided to stop just grousing about other people's efforts and put forward my own, and I called it Chapter and Verse. It's a collectible card game based on the scriptures. Each card is a verse of scripture, and you're gathering verses together into chapters to make books. Many verses have a set of special rules, so that most cards allow you to change the play of the game just a little bit.
I hadn't really worked on it very much for the last year or so.
But lately, I've been "resurrecting" it, if you'll pardon the pun. My son and I printed and cut out three full sets of the basic cards (they're prototype, and don't have any fancy graphics), and made some decks just to get back into it and try it out. He kicked my trash, but I didn't mind. I was reminded of two things:
- First of all, just how much fun this game can be. I really had a blast playing with him. It was fun to work out the decks (even though neither of us really put a lot of effort into it), and it was fun to make combos in play with the cards. This one has this special ability, and so that makes it so I can play this one!
- Second, there are a few of the abilities that direct one's focus to the scripture on the card itself. Rather than just reading the effect or the topical icon, you have to actually read or interact with the verse on the card. Watching my 11 year old son do that, and engage eagerly with the scriptures like that was fun.
So, I got this idea for a deck, and I think I'll make it tonight before I go to sleep, then maybe we'll try it out tomorrow after school and after work... Hmmmm...
This first set was all made from verses throughout the four standard works. I'm thinking that, over the next months or so, I'll also make a set specific to the Book of Mormon.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Fatherhood - What is it to be a Man?
I went to the Priesthood session of general conference tonight, with my father. It was a very powerful evening, and especially since I got to share it with family. Some people criticize us for having meetings that separate the men from the women, but there's great strength and unity in meeting with and sharing a spiritual time with hundreds of other guys, all of whom are striving to make a better life for their families.
One of the speakers tonight talked about the nature of the priesthood and about how the covenant of the priesthood was basically one of service. It got me to thinking about what it means to be be a man in today's world.
You look at popular culture, and there are lots of conflicting and confusing opinions of what "being a man" and being a "good man" really are. There's the tough guy, the loner, the ladies' man, the intellectual, the powerful man-in-charge. None of those seem to "get it" for me. Yet I see examples all around of people trying desperately to fit into one or more of those molds.
I'm finally beginning to see that, really, the key element of being a good man, truly the essence of Christian masculinity, is pretty simple, really: It's all about taking care of other people's needs above your own.
If that means you go to work daily to a job that's miserable because it keeps your family fed, you do it. if it means driving your kid for a late-night, three-hour wait in an ER because he needs a lung X-ray, you do it. If it means that you do something special for your kids instead of sleeping in on a Saturday, you do it. If it means interrupting your own time to go next door and give a sick neighbor a blessing, or to help someone move, you do it. You take care of the kids for a night, so your wife gets a much-needed break.
And somewhere in it all, you still manage to find a little time to blog, to cook in your dutch ovens , play a little MTG , or write a song or two .
That's all that stepping up and taking responsibility is, really.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
One of the speakers tonight talked about the nature of the priesthood and about how the covenant of the priesthood was basically one of service. It got me to thinking about what it means to be be a man in today's world.
You look at popular culture, and there are lots of conflicting and confusing opinions of what "being a man" and being a "good man" really are. There's the tough guy, the loner, the ladies' man, the intellectual, the powerful man-in-charge. None of those seem to "get it" for me. Yet I see examples all around of people trying desperately to fit into one or more of those molds.
I'm finally beginning to see that, really, the key element of being a good man, truly the essence of Christian masculinity, is pretty simple, really: It's all about taking care of other people's needs above your own.
If that means you go to work daily to a job that's miserable because it keeps your family fed, you do it. if it means driving your kid for a late-night, three-hour wait in an ER because he needs a lung X-ray, you do it. If it means that you do something special for your kids instead of sleeping in on a Saturday, you do it. If it means interrupting your own time to go next door and give a sick neighbor a blessing, or to help someone move, you do it. You take care of the kids for a night, so your wife gets a much-needed break.
And somewhere in it all, you still manage to find a little time to blog, to cook in your dutch ovens , play a little MTG , or write a song or two .
That's all that stepping up and taking responsibility is, really.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Parenthood - Common Uniqueness
My good friend Marc had his little girl, his first child, blessed today. I was lucky to be there. As he, and I, and others stood to bear our testimonies afterward, it occurred to me just what an interesting ride parenthood is.
I mean, it's like the ultimate in shared human experiences. Almost everyone at some point in their lives will experience it. Many who don't experience it biologically will still be able to do it socially. It truly is one thing that almost everyone does.
But for all of it's common ground, shared experiences, and universality, it's still unique with every child and every parent. I interact differently with Brendon than I do with Jake. I know that I interact differently with their friends who come over to play, because they are someone else's child. Even though I do make them follow the rules of our house while they're here, and I'm the responsible adult while I'm here, I'm still not their dad.
If fate had touched someone else with the task of being the parent to Brendon or Jacob, their shared experience would be vastly different (possibly even better) than what we've shared.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, other than that I find it interesting that God has set up our lives in such a way that we can be so unique. We all do it, but we all do it our own way.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
I mean, it's like the ultimate in shared human experiences. Almost everyone at some point in their lives will experience it. Many who don't experience it biologically will still be able to do it socially. It truly is one thing that almost everyone does.
But for all of it's common ground, shared experiences, and universality, it's still unique with every child and every parent. I interact differently with Brendon than I do with Jake. I know that I interact differently with their friends who come over to play, because they are someone else's child. Even though I do make them follow the rules of our house while they're here, and I'm the responsible adult while I'm here, I'm still not their dad.
If fate had touched someone else with the task of being the parent to Brendon or Jacob, their shared experience would be vastly different (possibly even better) than what we've shared.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, other than that I find it interesting that God has set up our lives in such a way that we can be so unique. We all do it, but we all do it our own way.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sometimes, Politics Scares Me
There have been times when I get political here, and I'll probably never change that. There are times, though, that I kinda keep my mouth shut. Sometimes, I just get feeling a bit smothered by all the debate and argument. And sometimes the debate and argument swirl around suppositions. People say that if someone gets elected than this will happen, or that if we spend our tax money here or there than the economy will soar or tank.
But we really don't know, do we? It's all speculation? Sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong.
Well, now it's not so much political as it is personal. And I don't really know what's going to happen. I'm just afraid. Very afraid.
First, please watch this video:
If the state budget passes as currently proposed, it is very likely that my son, Jacob, will be disqualified from receiving services from the state DSPD (Division of Services for People with Disabilities). That means that he would also be disqualified from receiving Medicaid, and almost all of his medical expenses would then fall on our insurance and our shoulders.
So that you understand, let me show you some examples. His daily formula and monthly medicines cost about 7 grand a month. So, after our deductible, our split of the 80/20 would be about $1400. Considering that this insurance costs us about $900 a month, and that would include a $500 out-of-pocket deductible, we're paying some pretty hefty costs in medical expenses monthly.
And, keep in mind that the amount quoted above doesn't include doctor's visits, nor specialists visits, nor physical therapy, nor equipment like wheelchairs, nor his yearly week-long stay up at Primary Children's.
Here are just 16 of the 72 cuts being considered:
I'm not asking you to compromise your own political beliefs, but if you could find it in your heart to call your state legislator and tell him that you know a really cute kid who needs to have DSPD funded, I'd sure appreciate it. To find your state house representative, go to http://www.le.state.ut.us/house/DistrictInfo/newMaps/State.htm and click on your district. Keep clicking deeper until you find your house rep.
Thanks so much for your consideration.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
But we really don't know, do we? It's all speculation? Sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong.
Well, now it's not so much political as it is personal. And I don't really know what's going to happen. I'm just afraid. Very afraid.
First, please watch this video:
Video Courtesy of KSL.com
If the state budget passes as currently proposed, it is very likely that my son, Jacob, will be disqualified from receiving services from the state DSPD (Division of Services for People with Disabilities). That means that he would also be disqualified from receiving Medicaid, and almost all of his medical expenses would then fall on our insurance and our shoulders.
So that you understand, let me show you some examples. His daily formula and monthly medicines cost about 7 grand a month. So, after our deductible, our split of the 80/20 would be about $1400. Considering that this insurance costs us about $900 a month, and that would include a $500 out-of-pocket deductible, we're paying some pretty hefty costs in medical expenses monthly.
And, keep in mind that the amount quoted above doesn't include doctor's visits, nor specialists visits, nor physical therapy, nor equipment like wheelchairs, nor his yearly week-long stay up at Primary Children's.
Here are just 16 of the 72 cuts being considered:
- Eliminate Medicaid optional eligibility categories
- Reduce Medicaid spend down eligibility level
- Reduce children’s dental coverage
- End the Traumatic Brain Injury Waiver
- End the Physical Disabilities Waiver
- End Disability Services
- Reduce local Substance Abuse treatment
- Reduce local Mental Health funding
- Eliminate Children’s Center Mental Health Grant
- Eliminate Autism Preschool
- Close State hospital beds
- Eliminate general fund for Nursing Home Alternatives
- Eliminate coverage for Breast and Cervical Cancer Clients
- Eliminate Meals on Wheels for 8200 people at risk for malnutrition
- Eliminate meals at Senior Centers for at risk seniors
- Provider rate reductions for all levels of health care and human services providers
I'm not asking you to compromise your own political beliefs, but if you could find it in your heart to call your state legislator and tell him that you know a really cute kid who needs to have DSPD funded, I'd sure appreciate it. To find your state house representative, go to http://www.le.state.ut.us/house/DistrictInfo/newMaps/State.htm and click on your district. Keep clicking deeper until you find your house rep.
Thanks so much for your consideration.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Friday, January 02, 2009
2009 – What's the Word?
I've been contemplating what I want to improve on this year. In that process, I started to make this list of all the things about be I want to fix in the upcoming year. Here's the basic list, as it got started:
1.To be healthier
2.To be less grumpy
3.To be more grateful
4.To be more frugal
5.To be more musical
6.To be more spiritual
7.To have Jacob be healthier
8.To help Jodi and Brendon be more content
9.To be a better provider
10.To be more in control
11.To be a better chef
It went on and on. The futility of that exercise struck me pretty quickly. There is simply no smegging way I'm going to be able to do all that and still maintain my sanity.
I remembered a blog I read a while back, where the lady (Christine Cane) suggested that instead of setting a new year's resolution that fails, instead you choose a word that will be your focus in the upcoming year. You think about that word, you do things that strengthen your connection to that word, and in the end, you're much better at the end of the year, instead of wondering whether or not you achieved a fixed goal.
So, I'm thinking about it, and I'm considering a few words, and I'll pick one by one week from this post. Here are my ideas:
1.Health
2.Spirit
3.Money
4.Music
It's an interesting concept. I could explore, throughout the year what that word means to me. I can explore it both in thought, and written word, and, of course, in action. I'd like your input. Tell me what word you'd like to focus on, and which one you think I should choose. Just pop it into the comments.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com/
1.To be healthier
2.To be less grumpy
3.To be more grateful
4.To be more frugal
5.To be more musical
6.To be more spiritual
7.To have Jacob be healthier
8.To help Jodi and Brendon be more content
9.To be a better provider
10.To be more in control
11.To be a better chef
It went on and on. The futility of that exercise struck me pretty quickly. There is simply no smegging way I'm going to be able to do all that and still maintain my sanity.
I remembered a blog I read a while back, where the lady (Christine Cane) suggested that instead of setting a new year's resolution that fails, instead you choose a word that will be your focus in the upcoming year. You think about that word, you do things that strengthen your connection to that word, and in the end, you're much better at the end of the year, instead of wondering whether or not you achieved a fixed goal.
So, I'm thinking about it, and I'm considering a few words, and I'll pick one by one week from this post. Here are my ideas:
1.Health
2.Spirit
3.Money
4.Music
It's an interesting concept. I could explore, throughout the year what that word means to me. I can explore it both in thought, and written word, and, of course, in action. I'd like your input. Tell me what word you'd like to focus on, and which one you think I should choose. Just pop it into the comments.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com/
Monday, December 22, 2008
Kids Grow Up for Christmas
I had some interesting thoughts as Jodi and I were wrapping Christmas presents tonight. I noticed that the presents we'd gotten for our kids, especially Brendon, were representative of his voyage of self-discovery this year. I don't mean anything hugely profound, but he's really uncovered some real interests and personality traits this year. Quite a bit of growing up.
He's discovered a real interest in performing. First as a comedian, then as a magician. All along the way, he still thinks music, particularly drumming, is pretty cool. He's discovered an enthusiasm for origami. And, he's learning to cook.
Clearly some of these are because he's at that age when he likes to do things with Dad, so there's a lot of overlap. But even still, I'm not a magician, nor a paper artist. It's fun for me to learn along with him, as he steps out on his own.
It's been a very interesting year to watch him. He's become much more helpful and less whiny (a little) than before.
I'm proud of him!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
He's discovered a real interest in performing. First as a comedian, then as a magician. All along the way, he still thinks music, particularly drumming, is pretty cool. He's discovered an enthusiasm for origami. And, he's learning to cook.
Clearly some of these are because he's at that age when he likes to do things with Dad, so there's a lot of overlap. But even still, I'm not a magician, nor a paper artist. It's fun for me to learn along with him, as he steps out on his own.
It's been a very interesting year to watch him. He's become much more helpful and less whiny (a little) than before.
I'm proud of him!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Friday, December 12, 2008
Service, Part Two
Where yesterday's post was about someone doing me service, today's bit is about me doing a little kindness for someone else. I know that sounds a bit like bragging, but in a few more blog entries, you'll see where I'm going with this.
Anyway, this morning, I stopped at a convenience store to get a morning snack. Diet Pepsi and a chocolate chip muffin. The breakfast of Champions.* There was this guy standing in line in front of me. While we were both waiting in line to pay, he and I kept glancing back and forth at each other. I kept thinking, "I've seen that guy somewhere, but I don't know where."
Finally, he speaks up and says, "I keep thinking I've seen you somewhere, but I can't place where..."
I was just thinking the exact same thing!
And we start exchanging bits of information, trying to figure out where we'd met. I live in Eagle Mountain City Center, he lives in the Ranches part of the city. He works at the elementary school in City Center, as the Assistant Principal. Oh, that must be it. I'm Jacob's dad! That was when recognition set in. We talked a minute about Jake.
To understand, you have to know that one of the biggest blessings in our children's life has been the experience they've had at the school. Especially Jake. The school administration has really rolled out the red carpet for him. They really take care of special needs kids at this school. It's a big difference between our experience here and our experience in other schools and in other school districts.
As we stepped up to the cash register, he was in front of me, and started to make his payment. I suddenly got an idea to repay him. I simply stepped up and told him to cancel his payment. And I covered his soda and snack.
It's not much, but Jodi and I really appreciate what he and his school have done for us.
And later, when Jodi went to take Jake some medicine, the Assistant Principal thanked her.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
*Seriously. It's a well-balanced meal. It has elements of all 4 food groups necessary for sustaining life in today's fast-paced workaday world: Sugar, Chocolate, Caffiene, and Preservatives.
Anyway, this morning, I stopped at a convenience store to get a morning snack. Diet Pepsi and a chocolate chip muffin. The breakfast of Champions.* There was this guy standing in line in front of me. While we were both waiting in line to pay, he and I kept glancing back and forth at each other. I kept thinking, "I've seen that guy somewhere, but I don't know where."
Finally, he speaks up and says, "I keep thinking I've seen you somewhere, but I can't place where..."
I was just thinking the exact same thing!
And we start exchanging bits of information, trying to figure out where we'd met. I live in Eagle Mountain City Center, he lives in the Ranches part of the city. He works at the elementary school in City Center, as the Assistant Principal. Oh, that must be it. I'm Jacob's dad! That was when recognition set in. We talked a minute about Jake.
To understand, you have to know that one of the biggest blessings in our children's life has been the experience they've had at the school. Especially Jake. The school administration has really rolled out the red carpet for him. They really take care of special needs kids at this school. It's a big difference between our experience here and our experience in other schools and in other school districts.
As we stepped up to the cash register, he was in front of me, and started to make his payment. I suddenly got an idea to repay him. I simply stepped up and told him to cancel his payment. And I covered his soda and snack.
It's not much, but Jodi and I really appreciate what he and his school have done for us.
And later, when Jodi went to take Jake some medicine, the Assistant Principal thanked her.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
*Seriously. It's a well-balanced meal. It has elements of all 4 food groups necessary for sustaining life in today's fast-paced workaday world: Sugar, Chocolate, Caffiene, and Preservatives.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Is This a Good Thing or a Bad Thing?
So, last night, we're all gathered downstairs and we're getting ready to play "Apples to Apples"
. This is a fun family card/word game. But Jacob is freaking out. He's literally screaming. He doesn't want to play this game. We try to convince him, because he's had a great time playing it before.
Finally we get him calmed enough to tell us why he doesn't want to play it.
"It has a swear word in it!" He says through his tears.
Jodi and I look at each other. We can't remember any word on any of the cards that can be construed as a swear word. We tell him it's OK.
"NO! NO! It has SWEARING!"
Finally, we get him calmed down, and in the end we have a great time playing a completely cuss-word-free game.
But that experience kinda haunted me. I got to wondering if my son's reaction to swearing is good or bad. His brother does it, too. He'll shut off the TV sometimes if he hears a word that he thinks is "bad" or if it's "too violent". And frankly, his threshold for both is pretty low. "Stupid" is a swear word in their book.
On the one hand, I think it's great that they want to keep clean and pure. I want to applaud that. On the other hand, if they go on screaming crusades everytime someone around them lets loose a string of colorful language, they're going to live very lonely lives.
What's a parent to do? It's just so *%^$#!! confusing...
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
. This is a fun family card/word game. But Jacob is freaking out. He's literally screaming. He doesn't want to play this game. We try to convince him, because he's had a great time playing it before.Finally we get him calmed enough to tell us why he doesn't want to play it.
"It has a swear word in it!" He says through his tears.
Jodi and I look at each other. We can't remember any word on any of the cards that can be construed as a swear word. We tell him it's OK.
"NO! NO! It has SWEARING!"
Finally, we get him calmed down, and in the end we have a great time playing a completely cuss-word-free game.
But that experience kinda haunted me. I got to wondering if my son's reaction to swearing is good or bad. His brother does it, too. He'll shut off the TV sometimes if he hears a word that he thinks is "bad" or if it's "too violent". And frankly, his threshold for both is pretty low. "Stupid" is a swear word in their book.
On the one hand, I think it's great that they want to keep clean and pure. I want to applaud that. On the other hand, if they go on screaming crusades everytime someone around them lets loose a string of colorful language, they're going to live very lonely lives.
What's a parent to do? It's just so *%^$#!! confusing...
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Monday, December 01, 2008
Christmas Decorations at Our House
After 21+ years of marriage, you tend to gather some stuff. Lots of stuff. Some stuff is cool. Some stuff is pointless. Some stuff has accumulated, and nobody seems to know where it even came from.
But what's especially cool is some of the Christmas decorations we've gathered. One tradition we have had, ever since we started having kids is to buy one new ornament for each member of the family each year. That family member gets to choose it, and it should have something to do with the events of that year in that person's life.
So, the year that Jacob loved watching the Spiderman movie over and over and over, he got a spiderman ornament. Another year, Brendon just was wild over Pokemon, so he get a little pikachu in a pokeball (If you don't understand that, you probably don't have young kids). One year, I got a little metal electric guitar. Another year, I had been really into Magic cards, so I hung one on the tree. It was a 3/3 white angel. Get it? An angel? On a Christmas tree?
Oh, well, I thought it was clever...
When Jacob was first born, on Christmas Day, he was left in the hospital. So, that year, we got him a little teddy bear Christmas decoration with his suitcases packed.
The fun of this tradition comes as we start setting up the tree. It never fails to turn my thoughts back and my memories loose.
And among our other Christmas decorations with history is the tree itself. It's a big one, artificial, and was given to us by Jodi's mom and stepdad. It's become even that much more special now that Jodi's mom has passed on. We've also got this beautiful pearlish glazed ceramic nativity set that we made when Jodi's mom still had her porcelain doll shop open.
What are some of your original Christmas traditions?
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
But what's especially cool is some of the Christmas decorations we've gathered. One tradition we have had, ever since we started having kids is to buy one new ornament for each member of the family each year. That family member gets to choose it, and it should have something to do with the events of that year in that person's life.
So, the year that Jacob loved watching the Spiderman movie over and over and over, he got a spiderman ornament. Another year, Brendon just was wild over Pokemon, so he get a little pikachu in a pokeball (If you don't understand that, you probably don't have young kids). One year, I got a little metal electric guitar. Another year, I had been really into Magic cards, so I hung one on the tree. It was a 3/3 white angel. Get it? An angel? On a Christmas tree?
Oh, well, I thought it was clever...
When Jacob was first born, on Christmas Day, he was left in the hospital. So, that year, we got him a little teddy bear Christmas decoration with his suitcases packed.
The fun of this tradition comes as we start setting up the tree. It never fails to turn my thoughts back and my memories loose.
And among our other Christmas decorations with history is the tree itself. It's a big one, artificial, and was given to us by Jodi's mom and stepdad. It's become even that much more special now that Jodi's mom has passed on. We've also got this beautiful pearlish glazed ceramic nativity set that we made when Jodi's mom still had her porcelain doll shop open.
What are some of your original Christmas traditions?
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Monday, November 03, 2008
Five Years in my Family
Five years ago, I started hearing about blogging. I’d actually been seeing and reading blogs for quite some time, I just hadn’t realized that was what they were called. I also started seeing the potential for promoting my music, and I thought about how I could join in.
That’s how Mo’ Boy was born. My thought was to just share my thoughts on Mormon life and culture, as well as an occasional foray into doctrinal stuff. But I didn’t do that very often.
And even though I’ve slacked from time to time, I’ve not given it up, which has earned the blog a slot as one of the oldest LDS blogs that currently exists. And I’m not hanging it up anytime soon.
I sat down with my wife last night and we talked about some of the things that have happened to us in the last five years, since I started. We came up with a surprisingly big list, and here we go (not in any particular order):
• Brendon Baptized – This was a big landmark. There was a time when we thought we’d never have kids. And here one of our kids was getting baptized. It was a wonderful moment. Now, he’s only a year out from the Aaronic Priesthood.
• Jacob Baptized – Baptizing Jacob was an interesting trick. We tried all kinds of methods. First a chair, then different ways of holding him. Finally, my father and I just held him, floating, on the surface of the water, said the prayer, and lowered him under. It was also a powerful moment.
• Bev Died - My step-mother-in-law passed from Pancreatic Cancer. It was a pretty long and slow death, and it was very difficult for my kids. They, especially Jacob, were very young, so they didn’t really understand, but they did miss her.
• Joan Died – Then, this last year, my wife’s mom died as her body shut down with Parkinson’s Disease. This one was actually a lot harder on my wife.
• Sold old house, built new house, moved – Two years ago, as her mom was starting her physical descent, we lived with them in their basement for a year and a half while our current home in Eagle Mountain was being built. It was great that our kids got to know their grandparents so closely before she passed.
• One United Generation – My first CD was released in 2005. This was quite an accomplishment for me, a real landmark in my life.
• Lost and Found – The second CD was also a landmark, but not so pivotal as the first one. I’m proud of them both, and I have a hard time saying which one I like listening to better.
• Don married, divorced, married, divorced – After Bev’s death, my father-in-law Don went into a bit of an emotional tailspin. Since then, he’s been married and divorced twice, and also gone through a couple of girlfriends. My boys tease him about it, which probably isn’t a good thing…
• Conductive Ed – A few years back, we discovered and tried a new program of physical therapy for Jacob. It was very hard, but it also worked wonders for him. Still, it was frighteningly expensive, and it was in Tucson. We did manage to bring it to Utah for a few sessions, but even that was more than our budget could allow.
There’s been a lot of changes since I started Mo’ Boy. It’s been a fun ride. Of course, it’s also far from over.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
That’s how Mo’ Boy was born. My thought was to just share my thoughts on Mormon life and culture, as well as an occasional foray into doctrinal stuff. But I didn’t do that very often.
And even though I’ve slacked from time to time, I’ve not given it up, which has earned the blog a slot as one of the oldest LDS blogs that currently exists. And I’m not hanging it up anytime soon.
I sat down with my wife last night and we talked about some of the things that have happened to us in the last five years, since I started. We came up with a surprisingly big list, and here we go (not in any particular order):
• Brendon Baptized – This was a big landmark. There was a time when we thought we’d never have kids. And here one of our kids was getting baptized. It was a wonderful moment. Now, he’s only a year out from the Aaronic Priesthood.
• Jacob Baptized – Baptizing Jacob was an interesting trick. We tried all kinds of methods. First a chair, then different ways of holding him. Finally, my father and I just held him, floating, on the surface of the water, said the prayer, and lowered him under. It was also a powerful moment.
• Bev Died - My step-mother-in-law passed from Pancreatic Cancer. It was a pretty long and slow death, and it was very difficult for my kids. They, especially Jacob, were very young, so they didn’t really understand, but they did miss her.
• Joan Died – Then, this last year, my wife’s mom died as her body shut down with Parkinson’s Disease. This one was actually a lot harder on my wife.
• Sold old house, built new house, moved – Two years ago, as her mom was starting her physical descent, we lived with them in their basement for a year and a half while our current home in Eagle Mountain was being built. It was great that our kids got to know their grandparents so closely before she passed.
• One United Generation – My first CD was released in 2005. This was quite an accomplishment for me, a real landmark in my life.
• Lost and Found – The second CD was also a landmark, but not so pivotal as the first one. I’m proud of them both, and I have a hard time saying which one I like listening to better.
• Don married, divorced, married, divorced – After Bev’s death, my father-in-law Don went into a bit of an emotional tailspin. Since then, he’s been married and divorced twice, and also gone through a couple of girlfriends. My boys tease him about it, which probably isn’t a good thing…
• Conductive Ed – A few years back, we discovered and tried a new program of physical therapy for Jacob. It was very hard, but it also worked wonders for him. Still, it was frighteningly expensive, and it was in Tucson. We did manage to bring it to Utah for a few sessions, but even that was more than our budget could allow.
There’s been a lot of changes since I started Mo’ Boy. It’s been a fun ride. Of course, it’s also far from over.
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Proud Dad Moment: Brendon in the Kitchen
So, I come home from work today, and my son bounces up to me and says, “Guess what, Dad? I’m making pizza!”
Now to understand my reaction of fear mixed with intrigue you have to understand two facts. One: The last time my son and his friends attempted to make pizza, they didn’t use a recipe, because one of them “already knew how”. Even though they promised Jodi they would clean up after themselves, the kitchen was left like a tomato hurricane had blown through. As proud of their pizzas as they were, they ended up looking like cheesy hockey pucks. The taste wasn’t too far off of that, either.
Two: The teacher of his fifth grade class had made an assignment where they have to read a book with some sort of instructions, do the thing it instructs, and then teach it to the class. Brendon chose a cookbook, and making pizza as his thing.
So, with all that in mind, I walked toward the kitchen, very afraid of what I would find. I was shocked. The kitchen was a mess, true, but then it was when I left for work this morning, too. The part that he’d been using was relatively clean, and cluttered only by the few tools I could tell he had used. There was a mixing bowl full of dough, quietly rising. I looked close. It looked like pizza dough, quietly rising. It suddenly dawned on me that he was actually making pizza!
So, while he was telling me the story of how he’d done it, and how he’d had troubles finding the yeast, and some of the spices for the sauce (which he also made from scratch), I started looking through the fridge for toppings. I found some pepperoni and salami, and some shredded cheddar and jack cheese mix.
So, I looked over his shoulder while he spread the dough, then the sauce. Then the cheese and toppings. Finally, more cheese. It looked great. He put it in the oven, and set the timer.
And what a taste feast we all had when he pulled it out! I’m still in awe. He found a recipe on his own, started to make it, sought help only when he needed it, and finished it. And it tasted GREAT! Wow. I am amazed!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Now to understand my reaction of fear mixed with intrigue you have to understand two facts. One: The last time my son and his friends attempted to make pizza, they didn’t use a recipe, because one of them “already knew how”. Even though they promised Jodi they would clean up after themselves, the kitchen was left like a tomato hurricane had blown through. As proud of their pizzas as they were, they ended up looking like cheesy hockey pucks. The taste wasn’t too far off of that, either.
Two: The teacher of his fifth grade class had made an assignment where they have to read a book with some sort of instructions, do the thing it instructs, and then teach it to the class. Brendon chose a cookbook, and making pizza as his thing.
So, with all that in mind, I walked toward the kitchen, very afraid of what I would find. I was shocked. The kitchen was a mess, true, but then it was when I left for work this morning, too. The part that he’d been using was relatively clean, and cluttered only by the few tools I could tell he had used. There was a mixing bowl full of dough, quietly rising. I looked close. It looked like pizza dough, quietly rising. It suddenly dawned on me that he was actually making pizza!
So, while he was telling me the story of how he’d done it, and how he’d had troubles finding the yeast, and some of the spices for the sauce (which he also made from scratch), I started looking through the fridge for toppings. I found some pepperoni and salami, and some shredded cheddar and jack cheese mix.
So, I looked over his shoulder while he spread the dough, then the sauce. Then the cheese and toppings. Finally, more cheese. It looked great. He put it in the oven, and set the timer.
And what a taste feast we all had when he pulled it out! I’m still in awe. He found a recipe on his own, started to make it, sought help only when he needed it, and finished it. And it tasted GREAT! Wow. I am amazed!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Thoughts on the LDS Independent Music Fest 2008
Some background: In the middle of 1999, a lonely LDS guitarist and folksinger in Idaho was frustrated that he had no way to communicate with other church musicians. He started an email group called LDSmusicians. A few days later, I found it and joined. Soon after, there were others and we became quite a chatty and encouraging group. We shared our song, and helped each other get more points with their mp3 sites. We talked shop, and critiqued each other’s work. We talked about ways to get gigs and promote ourselves.
And that summer, in 2000, we set up a couple of traditions. One was producing an annual compilation CD, and another was the music festival. As many as could make the journey would gather together at the American Fork Amphitheater on a Saturday in late August. We would play music together all day long, and at the end, we staged a concert. We’ve been doing it every year ever since, with one exception.
It’s always been a lot of fun to see people year after year. You get to hear their new tunes, tell some stories and have a great time. It’s like a big family reunion.
So, last weekend, it happened again. This year, it was a three-day festival, with a youth night on Friday, an all day event on Saturday, and a Sunday evening devotional for the more sacred music. I attended Friday an Saturday, but wasn’t able to attend on Sunday.
Friday
Steve Brown, of the acoustic duo Border Crossing, was in charge this year, and was greatly assisted by Julie Keyser. I showed up around 5:00 and saw them both there, as well as a few others. The sound and lights guys were there, setting. I was glad, ‘cause I’d done that in years past, and I was very grateful that it was someone else’s problem this year!
All of us just hung out and talked for a long time. It was great fun. In the back of my mind, I can remember Gaylen Rust, of yourldsneighborhood.combeing there, but in retrospect, I’m not sure. The two days kinda blurred for me. He was definitely there on Saturday. He’d helped out a LOT with the fest, in terms of promotions and sponsorship. We talked a lot about what was going on in LDS music. He’s getting involved pretty heavily in promotions and marketing. Which is something our little group needs desperately to learn.
At about 8:00, Shawn Phillips started DJing. It was supposed to be a dance, but there was hardly anyone there, much less dancing. Still, it was really cool to listen to the way he’d blend the music and the samples. At about 9:00 we decided to start the live performance part of the show. I went on first, and did what I felt was one of my best sets in a long time. I was feeling really confident in the show.
Then Arhythmatik took the stage and he had everyone dancing and shouting along with him. What a performer! He’s solid! It was exciting to me to see the few people that were there respond so well to two performers (he and I) that are so far out of what is normally mainstream LDS music.
It was a lot of fun, and I left that night thinking how lucky I was to be involved in such a great group.
Saturday
The next morning I was slow getting started. I had my two boys with me, and it wasn’t easy getting them ready to go. Still, we managed, and when we arrived there were already a number of other musicians there. I was surprised to see Greg Hansen there. Greg and Gaylen have been teaming up to get the yourldsneighborhood jukebox going to help provide promotional outlets for indie LDS artists. It was fascinating to talk to the two of them. Greg has been involved heavily in the LDS music industry for a long long time. We talked a lot about trends, like the imminent death of the pearl awards, the future of the LDSBA and its convention, the way the internet is taking a bigger and bigger chunk out of retail… Fascinating stuff.
Early in the afternoon, we set up for the “Songwriters in the Round”. Four of us had been asked to sit up on the stage and take turns playing songs, with just our own acoustic guitars. I was both very honored to be asked to participate, as well and very nervous. I enjoy unplugged gigs, but I don’t do as well at them. I have a struggle remembering the words while I’m trying to play the guitar as well. But I did OK. I got Sam Payne, another participant, to scat along with me on “Thank You”, and Brendon came up to pound out a beat on my guitar case during “Superman”.
Neil Owen, Julie Keyser, and Sam also participated. Julie sang one about when she lost one of her babies after only a few hours of life. That one hit very close to home and got me teared up. It was very well written. Of couse Sam is an incredible writer, and Neil is the consummate bluesman. He does one (I don’t remember the title) based on some New Testament scriptures. Very gospel. Great stuff.
After the Songwriters, we had the open mic. A number of people had sort of stumbled onto us and they got up and performed. I was quite impressed with them, too, but I didn’t remember their names. My two boys got to sing a couple of primary songs, and everybody loved that as well.
As the stage guys and the bands for the evening began setting up, Julie and Steve stepped forward to present the first annual “Green Jello” awards. That first year that we had the fest, there were some in the LDS industry that whispered that our little show would be like a “Roadshow on Steroids”, or that it was all very “green jello”. Some of us got a little miffed, but others said that being “green jello” meant we were music of the people, not of the machine. In honor of that, they created these awards.
I was pleasantly surprised when they announced me as the “lifetime achievement” award. We all kinda chuckled over that one, but there are very few of us in the email group that have been with the group since the beginning, and stayed with it. I guess that’s an achievement! Anyways, I was touched. It sure made me feel good. And I got a cool little trophy, too.
In the Early Evening show, there were three ladies that had formed a group called “Musically Inclined”. They played some up-tempo tunes to minus tracks. Great job, and crystal clear harmonies.
Lindy Kerby did some tunes that I think were off her new CD. I love her voice. She did the solo at the end of “How Beautiful”
I did two tunes, too. I had planned on doing three, but my tracks CD had gotten scratched, and so that last tune kept skipping.
The evening show started with Jen Handy and her group. She’s got a killer voice, and her sound is a very strong Contemporary Christian vibe. Did I mention her voice is amazing?
Then, we got to hear more of Neil Owen, this time accompanied on the Dobro by Ryan Tilby and a bit of harmonica from Sam Payne. What a show.
Then, Sam took the stage. I always love watching him perform. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him more animated on stage than this time, though. They started with their version of “Route 66” and he was all over it. It’s fun to watch him dance, too. He’s the ultimate hick jazzman! Great set.
Finally, Alex Boye. Another consummate showman. But with a lot of heart and testimony. And another killer voice.
Overall Impressions
I’ve had a rather tough time these last two-three years trying to figure out what my place is in the LDS music world. And, it all sort of came together for me this weekend. I got a lot of encouragement from speaking with Gaylen, Greg, Alex, and Sam, and to suddenly be recognized so much by the group made me feel like I actually have a place in it.
I’m starting to see that my focus of writing, recording, and releasing mp3 singles is a great model for me to follow in promoting my site and my music. I’m not in a position where I can do a lot of touring or performing. Pressing thousands of CD’s is also beyond my limits. But I can put together some kickin’ tunes and share them on the ‘net.
I’m very excited about the ones I’ve been working on lately, as well. I’m collaborating with Arhythmatik on a rock/rap crossover tune, I’ve got some rockers and ballads both coming along, including one I wrote a few years back for my anniversary.
Come along for the ride with me!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
And that summer, in 2000, we set up a couple of traditions. One was producing an annual compilation CD, and another was the music festival. As many as could make the journey would gather together at the American Fork Amphitheater on a Saturday in late August. We would play music together all day long, and at the end, we staged a concert. We’ve been doing it every year ever since, with one exception.
It’s always been a lot of fun to see people year after year. You get to hear their new tunes, tell some stories and have a great time. It’s like a big family reunion.
So, last weekend, it happened again. This year, it was a three-day festival, with a youth night on Friday, an all day event on Saturday, and a Sunday evening devotional for the more sacred music. I attended Friday an Saturday, but wasn’t able to attend on Sunday.
Friday
Steve Brown, of the acoustic duo Border Crossing, was in charge this year, and was greatly assisted by Julie Keyser. I showed up around 5:00 and saw them both there, as well as a few others. The sound and lights guys were there, setting. I was glad, ‘cause I’d done that in years past, and I was very grateful that it was someone else’s problem this year!
All of us just hung out and talked for a long time. It was great fun. In the back of my mind, I can remember Gaylen Rust, of yourldsneighborhood.combeing there, but in retrospect, I’m not sure. The two days kinda blurred for me. He was definitely there on Saturday. He’d helped out a LOT with the fest, in terms of promotions and sponsorship. We talked a lot about what was going on in LDS music. He’s getting involved pretty heavily in promotions and marketing. Which is something our little group needs desperately to learn.
At about 8:00, Shawn Phillips started DJing. It was supposed to be a dance, but there was hardly anyone there, much less dancing. Still, it was really cool to listen to the way he’d blend the music and the samples. At about 9:00 we decided to start the live performance part of the show. I went on first, and did what I felt was one of my best sets in a long time. I was feeling really confident in the show.
Then Arhythmatik took the stage and he had everyone dancing and shouting along with him. What a performer! He’s solid! It was exciting to me to see the few people that were there respond so well to two performers (he and I) that are so far out of what is normally mainstream LDS music.
It was a lot of fun, and I left that night thinking how lucky I was to be involved in such a great group.
Saturday
The next morning I was slow getting started. I had my two boys with me, and it wasn’t easy getting them ready to go. Still, we managed, and when we arrived there were already a number of other musicians there. I was surprised to see Greg Hansen there. Greg and Gaylen have been teaming up to get the yourldsneighborhood jukebox going to help provide promotional outlets for indie LDS artists. It was fascinating to talk to the two of them. Greg has been involved heavily in the LDS music industry for a long long time. We talked a lot about trends, like the imminent death of the pearl awards, the future of the LDSBA and its convention, the way the internet is taking a bigger and bigger chunk out of retail… Fascinating stuff.
Early in the afternoon, we set up for the “Songwriters in the Round”. Four of us had been asked to sit up on the stage and take turns playing songs, with just our own acoustic guitars. I was both very honored to be asked to participate, as well and very nervous. I enjoy unplugged gigs, but I don’t do as well at them. I have a struggle remembering the words while I’m trying to play the guitar as well. But I did OK. I got Sam Payne, another participant, to scat along with me on “Thank You”, and Brendon came up to pound out a beat on my guitar case during “Superman”.
Neil Owen, Julie Keyser, and Sam also participated. Julie sang one about when she lost one of her babies after only a few hours of life. That one hit very close to home and got me teared up. It was very well written. Of couse Sam is an incredible writer, and Neil is the consummate bluesman. He does one (I don’t remember the title) based on some New Testament scriptures. Very gospel. Great stuff.
After the Songwriters, we had the open mic. A number of people had sort of stumbled onto us and they got up and performed. I was quite impressed with them, too, but I didn’t remember their names. My two boys got to sing a couple of primary songs, and everybody loved that as well.
As the stage guys and the bands for the evening began setting up, Julie and Steve stepped forward to present the first annual “Green Jello” awards. That first year that we had the fest, there were some in the LDS industry that whispered that our little show would be like a “Roadshow on Steroids”, or that it was all very “green jello”. Some of us got a little miffed, but others said that being “green jello” meant we were music of the people, not of the machine. In honor of that, they created these awards.
I was pleasantly surprised when they announced me as the “lifetime achievement” award. We all kinda chuckled over that one, but there are very few of us in the email group that have been with the group since the beginning, and stayed with it. I guess that’s an achievement! Anyways, I was touched. It sure made me feel good. And I got a cool little trophy, too.
In the Early Evening show, there were three ladies that had formed a group called “Musically Inclined”. They played some up-tempo tunes to minus tracks. Great job, and crystal clear harmonies.
Lindy Kerby did some tunes that I think were off her new CD. I love her voice. She did the solo at the end of “How Beautiful”
I did two tunes, too. I had planned on doing three, but my tracks CD had gotten scratched, and so that last tune kept skipping.
The evening show started with Jen Handy and her group. She’s got a killer voice, and her sound is a very strong Contemporary Christian vibe. Did I mention her voice is amazing?
Then, we got to hear more of Neil Owen, this time accompanied on the Dobro by Ryan Tilby and a bit of harmonica from Sam Payne. What a show.
Then, Sam took the stage. I always love watching him perform. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him more animated on stage than this time, though. They started with their version of “Route 66” and he was all over it. It’s fun to watch him dance, too. He’s the ultimate hick jazzman! Great set.
Finally, Alex Boye. Another consummate showman. But with a lot of heart and testimony. And another killer voice.
Overall Impressions
I’ve had a rather tough time these last two-three years trying to figure out what my place is in the LDS music world. And, it all sort of came together for me this weekend. I got a lot of encouragement from speaking with Gaylen, Greg, Alex, and Sam, and to suddenly be recognized so much by the group made me feel like I actually have a place in it.
I’m starting to see that my focus of writing, recording, and releasing mp3 singles is a great model for me to follow in promoting my site and my music. I’m not in a position where I can do a lot of touring or performing. Pressing thousands of CD’s is also beyond my limits. But I can put together some kickin’ tunes and share them on the ‘net.
I’m very excited about the ones I’ve been working on lately, as well. I’m collaborating with Arhythmatik on a rock/rap crossover tune, I’ve got some rockers and ballads both coming along, including one I wrote a few years back for my anniversary.
Come along for the ride with me!
MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com
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