Game Design, Laws, and Abortion

I make games. It’s one of my hobbies, and one of my personal joys. As I’ve been learning the process of creating games, I’ve been studying and learning a lot, and much of what I have learned applies to life. 

I was pleased to discover, for example, just how similar the world of game design is to the world of politics, and legislation in particular. To be sure, there are many differences, here is how they are very alike: They’re both about making rules.

Now, let’s look at a situation in game design. Let’s say that there’s a problem in the game. Let’s say that there’s a quirk of the board or a strategic option that gives a player a huge advantage, to the point that they win the game every time. Or maybe there’s another situation that makes the game bog down and nobody progresses. Either way, the game is broken. 

A beginner game designer looks at that and says that it’s no problem, we’ll just make a rule that says you can’t do that strategy. Easy fix. 

The problem is that many times that one new rule you made reveals another problem, so you now have to make another rule to fix the one just created. Maybe this one is an exception to that initial rule. But then this new rule triggers new problems. And now, to fix the next problems, you have to make yet more rules and I bet you can guess where this leads.

A more experienced, more professional game designer would look at the initial problem and think about it. They would analyze the situations that would motivate the player to choose the problematic strategy in the first place. They would ask why it’s so appealing. Why would anyone want to choose it in the first place?

Then, you adjust the board, or you adjust the existing rules to make that a less effective in-game strategy. If that choice no longer helps the player, or if other choices are more effective in the long run of the game, then the problem strategy is minimized, or simply goes away.

I would hope that it’s very clear how this applies to the legislature. All too often, our response to the idea of a problem in our society is simply to make that problem illegal. I’m discovering that a better approach would be to ask ourselves, “Why is this a problem? And why are people choosing to do it?” and then to write legislation that would fix THOSE problems.

Let’s look at the problem of Abortion as a big example of this. 

For the record, I am personally and morally opposed to the concept of abortion of a pregnancy. I think that, ideally, a child should be wanted, loved, and anticipated with excitement in a loving and nurturing family. I also know that this doesn’t always happen.

Politically, it’s very easy for those who are opposed to abortion to just say, “Well, let’s just make it illegal!” 

But let’s apply what I’ve learned in game design. Let’s ask some of the tough questions. What makes someone want to have an abortion? Why does a woman want to end a pregnancy? 

The hard part of this question is that there are thousands of different answers from thousands of different circumstances. From what I hear in the debate, it’s not an easy choice for a woman to make. It can be personally traumatizing, socially stigmatizing, and financially overwhelming, among many other things. And yet, in spite of all of those horrors, it is still seen as being LESS traumatic, LESS stigmatizing, and LESS financially devastating than the prospect of bearing a child for 9 months and then raising them for 18+ years.

So, if I, as an advocate of the life of the child (not necessarily in the “pro-life” political camp, though) want to see fewer abortions, it seems to me that the legislation to push for, to vote for, would be the ideas that make having the baby LESS stigmatizing, LESS devastating, and LESS traumatic. If we make laws and circumstances that support a mother in crisis, then we would have fewer abortions. If ending the life of a child becomes the least effective option, it will be chosen far less.

How do we do that? Well, that’s not easy, but here are a few ideas:

1. Make adoption easier. There are many childless couples and households that would dearly love to have a child. My wife and I were in this situation for many years. We looked into the option of adoption and the costs and challenges were almost insurmountable. If you make it easier and more fair, there will be a lessened need for abortions.

2. Provide more support for struggling moms. If a woman sees bearing and raising a child as an overwhelming road that she has to tread alone for years to come, then abortion is a more appealing option. 

3. Better education. If our teens learn more about what is involved in parenting and raising a child, they will approach that phase in their life with greater respect and confidence. This is more than just sex education and contraception. This is all about understanding family and interpersonal commitments. 

4. Holding men accountable for the babies they help conceive is important and right and just. It’s also a double-edged sword in some ways. If a man is facing a lifetime of personal and financial commitment that he’s not ready for, he might well push for an abortion. This is a part of the complication of the issue that I don’t have a great answer for. Still, if the fathers have options, like adoption, and education, this situation will also be lessened.

I, personally, think that many of these options are good for society as a whole, not just people who find themselves caught in the situation of being expectant and uncertain parents-to-be.

This is a very complicated issue. There are no easy answers. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I want to share some of my other musings here in my blog sometime soon. I’d love to hear your (respectful) comments below!

Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including ATaleOfHeroes.com, MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

How to Have Safe Sex

OK, this is going to be a hard one to write, for several reasons. One is that I’m still sorting out a lot of my thoughts on the topic, particularly as it relates to many of my friends who don’t share my faith. Another reason is that I know I’m going to make some people mad, and there will be many both in and out of my faith that will disagree with me.

I’m OK with that.

I’m going to tell several stories and experiences which have shaped my life and opinions on sex and relationships. It’s kinda funny, because I don’t feel like I’m particularly qualified to be giving advice on this topic. I’ve never been all that great at relationships. I get really focused on my own baggage and sometimes forget that other people need me for things. So, I’m not sure why I get to write this, except for the fact that I’ve been married, now, for 27 years, to the same woman, and she hasn’t kicked me out, yet. I guess that means something, right?

I started thinking about the nature of sex and relationships more in the last few weeks because of this video clip (please watch it before reading on):



This guy nails a lot of the frustration men and women have been feeling in recent years as we struggle to deal with issues like sex, modesty, rape culture, respect, blame, and a whole lot of other things that circle around the way we live together.

As I watched it, I saw how important it is to respect one another, and to treat others, men and women, with that kindness.

I also thought of an editorial cartoon I saw many years ago, and I tried to google it, that I think spoke to the issue. There was a young kid, talking to a pharmacist, and the pharmacist says that he has something that, when used as intended, would guarantee him 100% safe sex. He was intrigued. What was this miracle drug?

A wedding ring.

I grew up and came of age in the late 70’s and early 80’s. In spite of all of the sexualization that was rampant even in those decades, I was a virgin when I married my wife. She was, too. Since that time, we’ve had our struggles, but we’ve remained faithful. She is the only woman I’ve ever been with, sexually. We’ve had to adapt to each other personally, physically, and emotionally, it’s true. That’s what marriage is. A few weeks ago, we celebrated our 27th anniversary. She makes me, and our family, complete.

And I thought about that video, with all it’s confusion and chaos and the need for “The Rules”, and I wondered (here’s the controversial part) how many of those nagging confusions would simply go away if people, men and women, would commit to each other, and make sex exclusive to that commitment.

Imagine if men were taught, and believed, that women were sacred and to be respected. That sex was something she gave him, and he gave her as a part of their promise to make a lasting life together. Imagine if women were taught that men were to be respected and not to be manipulated, teased, or used and discarded as toys. What if she were taught early in life that sex isn’t currency used to buy status or security, but a beautiful part of connected lives.

What if, as single men and women socialized with each other (especially as teens), then dated, they didn’t have to worry about the complications of a sexual relationship? What if there were no need to guess if your date was going to pressure you or not? What if men didn’t want to drop drugs into girl’s drinks? What if the immediate need to sleep with someone tonight was replaced with the deeper desire to wake up next to a partner for years to come, knowing that this partner had promised the same thing to you.

It seems so often that people want the convenience of casual sex and the meaning and mutual respect that comes from commitment. I'm not sure that you can have it both ways.

To me, when sex is reduced to a party game, it’s no wonder that we have so much confusion over “The Rules”.





Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

When Worlds Collide

A big topic in the news of late is the Arizona bill (passed by the legislature, and currently awaiting signing or veto by the governor) which would effectively allow anyone to refuse service to anyone for religious reasons.  There is a lot of legalese in the text of the law, but the basic upshot of it (and the source of the controversy) is that if there’s a same-sex wedding, and they want to hire someone to, say, bake the cake or take pictures, or perform the service, a person or company whose religous beliefs prohibit same-sex marriage would be allowed to turn down the opportunity.  It essentially says that if your church doesn’t like it, you’re not required to go along with it at your business.

On one side of this argument is the observation that this essentially sanctions discrimination, and undoes decades of civil rights legislation. On the other side of the argument, people are upset that businesses and business people are getting sued for “standing for their beliefs”.  They are frustrated that the government, and the laws it enforces, are requiring them to do things they believe are against their beliefs and principles.

It doesn’t even have to be against gays.  If someone’s Church doesn’t accept the possibility of life on other planets, according to this law, they shouldn’t be required to let aliens in their store.

Add to that this suit being brought against a Church in the UK, and the plot gets even a bit thicker.  The gay couple is suing because the Church won’t marry them.  Even though it’s happening “over there”, many in America are watching with interest because it could indicate a trend or precedent.

I’m a bit befuddled by it all.  I don’t want to legalize discrimination and prejudice, either, but I also support someone’s right to believe what they want and to act on that belief.

This is a situation where we may actually see the colliding of words, the immovable object being hit by the irresistible force. These two viewpoints are completely at odds with each other.  The gays want to get married, and there are many who don’t want to serve them.  Should they be forced to serve? Or should the gays be forced to look elsewhere for services?  What if the services aren’t available elsewhere, or if there are other factors in the situation?

This is why I think the LDS Church fought so strongly against same-sex marriage in California, Hawaii, and other states: the fear that, at some point, the Church would sued and forced to solemnize same-sex marriages in the temple.  I think that without that spectre looming over their heads, the Brethren of the Church would have been much more accepting of the concept.

Honestly, I’m not sure what the answer is.  But, it’s something that I’ll be watching very closely.





Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.

An Epiphany in the Temple

One of the funny, odd, and even cool things about going to the temple is that you learn things you've known all along, but you learn them on a deeper level. You "get it" better than you did before, or you see that something you've always know is more important than you thought it was.

That last one is actually what happened to me last night.

My wife and I went with our ward to do sealings on assignment. As we were in there, listening to the ceremony, I just got overwhelmed with the Spirit and I suddenly realized just how connected the family is to everything in the Gospel. In fact, the family is at the very core of the Gospel. Everything that we do is related to our family. Our temporal family, our eternal family, our extended spiritual family. Everything comes back to that.

And everything about humanity is drawn from that core. Our relationships. Even our genders, sex and genetics. It all comes back to family.

We are all created into a big, vast spiritual family, as children of God. It's his purpose to bring about our exaltation. To that end, we're born into physical families. As a core part of bringing us back, those families need to be made eternal, and not just temporary.

The core of the family is the husband and the wife. Everything rests on them. The responsibility of bringing their family back to God is on their shoulders. That's why the sealing of the husband and wife is such a powerful ceremony. Pay attention to it the next time you do a sealing, and maybe you'll see the same epiphany I did.

OK, so I'm not doing badly as a husband and father, but I'm not doing my best, either. Bit by bit, I'll step it up, though.


Mark has a lifelong testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormon Church). Mark also has other sites and blogs, including MarkHansenMusic.com and his Dutch Oven blog.



Mark's Other Blog Posts: Martyrs and Anthems, Invoking the Mo'Boy Doctrine, Again, Dutch Oven Whole Wheat Bread

Fatherhood - What is it to be a Man?

I went to the Priesthood session of general conference tonight, with my father. It was a very powerful evening, and especially since I got to share it with family. Some people criticize us for having meetings that separate the men from the women, but there's great strength and unity in meeting with and sharing a spiritual time with hundreds of other guys, all of whom are striving to make a better life for their families.

One of the speakers tonight talked about the nature of the priesthood and about how the covenant of the priesthood was basically one of service. It got me to thinking about what it means to be be a man in today's world.

You look at popular culture, and there are lots of conflicting and confusing opinions of what "being a man" and being a "good man" really are. There's the tough guy, the loner, the ladies' man, the intellectual, the powerful man-in-charge. None of those seem to "get it" for me. Yet I see examples all around of people trying desperately to fit into one or more of those molds.

I'm finally beginning to see that, really, the key element of being a good man, truly the essence of Christian masculinity, is pretty simple, really: It's all about taking care of other people's needs above your own.

If that means you go to work daily to a job that's miserable because it keeps your family fed, you do it. if it means driving your kid for a late-night, three-hour wait in an ER because he needs a lung X-ray, you do it. If it means that you do something special for your kids instead of sleeping in on a Saturday, you do it. If it means interrupting your own time to go next door and give a sick neighbor a blessing, or to help someone move, you do it. You take care of the kids for a night, so your wife gets a much-needed break.

And somewhere in it all, you still manage to find a little time to blog, to cook in your dutch ovens , play a little MTG , or write a song or two .

That's all that stepping up and taking responsibility is, really.


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Winners and Losers

Wars, it seems to me, are ugly, brutal struggles, and usually at the end, there is rarely a clear winner. In reality, I think, wars are won by the side that ends up losing the least. And I don't mean the one that lost the fewest battles, I think more in terms of the side that had to give up the least in the whole process, and in the end.

America was pretty much destined to win World War II for that reason. I mean, we lost a lot of people, but then, everybody did. So did the Japanese. So did the Germans and the English. We lost a lot of hardware. But ultimately, only two or three times in the whole course of the war was American soil ever attacked. And at the time, none of those places were actual states, only territories. Our cities weren't decimated by bombs and artillery. Our economy wasn't ravaged by the war machine's destructive power. Quite the opposite. Our economy was fueled by it.

But even though we “won” the war, we were still losers. We still lost a lot of lives. We still lost a lot of money that was spent blowing things up and getting blown up. We spent a lot of time and money rebuilding the nations we blew up. And we spent the next 50 years spending more money and lives trying to maintain the illusion of world dominance that we thought we had won.

In the end, the winners are not so much “winners” as they are the ones that lose the least.

Why am I thinking about this today? Because it occurs to me that it's true not only on a national scale, but also on individual scale.

A good friend of ours decided to file for divorce today, from a husband that has been verbally and at times physically abusive. It has been building for the last four or five years, coming to direct battle a couple of times. But our friend has decided that she wants to stop losing. Or, at least, to stop losing as much as she has been. She's been losing life and happiness, and it's time to start rebuilding.

Divorce isn't pretty. It isn't easy. I don't think you can call anyone who goes through it a “winner”, but I admire her courage for deciding to stop losing. I think that can, at times, be called a “win”!

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Christmas Decorations at Our House

After 21+ years of marriage, you tend to gather some stuff. Lots of stuff. Some stuff is cool. Some stuff is pointless. Some stuff has accumulated, and nobody seems to know where it even came from.

But what's especially cool is some of the Christmas decorations we've gathered. One tradition we have had, ever since we started having kids is to buy one new ornament for each member of the family each year. That family member gets to choose it, and it should have something to do with the events of that year in that person's life.

So, the year that Jacob loved watching the Spiderman movie over and over and over, he got a spiderman ornament. Another year, Brendon just was wild over Pokemon, so he get a little pikachu in a pokeball (If you don't understand that, you probably don't have young kids). One year, I got a little metal electric guitar. Another year, I had been really into Magic cards, so I hung one on the tree. It was a 3/3 white angel. Get it? An angel? On a Christmas tree?

Oh, well, I thought it was clever...

When Jacob was first born, on Christmas Day, he was left in the hospital. So, that year, we got him a little teddy bear Christmas decoration with his suitcases packed.

The fun of this tradition comes as we start setting up the tree. It never fails to turn my thoughts back and my memories loose.

And among our other Christmas decorations with history is the tree itself. It's a big one, artificial, and was given to us by Jodi's mom and stepdad. It's become even that much more special now that Jodi's mom has passed on. We've also got this beautiful pearlish glazed ceramic nativity set that we made when Jodi's mom still had her porcelain doll shop open.

What are some of your original Christmas traditions?


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

A New Song! "Too Late Smart"

When I was a little kid, I can remember my mom saying one of her sayings: “I’m too soon old and too late smart” whenever she did something that she thought was a big blunder. At the time I didn’t really get it. I thought all adults, especially my mom and dad, knew everything! They were the smartest, coolest people ever. If only the world would just listen to them, then it would be a great place to live.

Then I got to be a teenager. Suddenly my parents became total idiots. They had no idea what end was up. I was going to take the world by storm. I was going to make a difference! I was going to be the one that the world rallied around! The Lord had a very important mission for me.

It wasn’t until long after my mission, and well into my married life that I started to learn how fundamentally clueless I was (am). It was then that the wisdom of that saying started to sink in.

And now, many years later, as I look at my where my life is, sometimes I wonder what I’ve been doing all this time. And I wanna smack myself on the forehead like David Byrne and say, “Well… How did I get here?” At times like these I start to think of those times when I thought adults knew everything, and I start to think that now I’m too soon old, and too late smart.

I guess that’s a pretty normal thing for a guy to go through at my age.

Anyway, a long time ago, I wrote a song about it, and then about a year ago, revised it to reflect my newfound wisdom and acceptance of the drab and normal life my choices have brought me. My important save-the-world mission? I still don’t know what it was or is for sure. But raising my kids to be happy and faithful followers of the Lord is a daily challenge, and it’s the most important thing I can do right now. And I'm very grateful to have the help of my very, very patient and loving wife at my side.

So, anyway. Here’s the new song!

I like it a lot, actually. It’s a solid, driving rock tune, with a killer mix. Nuthin’ mellow about it! Check it out, and feel free to post your own comments and experiences!


MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

“La Media e Mobile”

-Or-

The Texas Rangers Should Learn Opera!

One of the more famous operatic melodies is “La Donna E Mobile” from Don Giovanni. The song is all about how “Women are moveable/fickle/constantly changing”.

It’s funny because, as I look at the way the media and the bloggosphere are covering and reacting to the Texas Raid on the polygamous FLDS compound, that’s the thought that keeps passing through my mind. I can even hear the melody.

At first, the news reports, while trying to “maintain objectivity” were all over the story like flies on stink. They were all about the juicy, salacious details, no matter how trivial or how unconfirmed the report might be. This was a gallant, courageous rescue mission. A call for help had been heard, no matter how faint, and everyone was rushing in to free the captives from the evildoers.

I can remember when I heard, for example, that they had found beds in the FLDS temple, and had found a single woman’s hair on one of the beds. Obviously, the beds are being used to consummate these horrid underage forced marriages. Right there IN THE TEMPLE itself!

Then, on the bloggosphere, some alternate voices started to be heard. Voices questioning the constitutionality of the raid, and the apparent lack of evidence found. Not so gradually, the tone of the mainstream media shifted as well. Last night on a TV newsmagazine, a reporter was able to actually enter and tour the compound and interview a number of the families men & women that remain. They were very much portrayed as innocent victims. Over and over again, they stated that the charges of abuse, of forced marriage were false. They were shown as simple people trying to live out their polygamous beliefs and not bother anyone, or even harm those within their group. This report was not alone as more and more media reports are starting to take this tone.

Whether or not they are innocent victims or evil enablers of abuse remains to be seen. Whether or not the raid or subsequent investigation will turn up the evidence to press any charges remains to be seen. Also, any emotional damage done to the children, either from living in a horrible, anti-social, abusive polygamous society, or from being torn from the arms of their loving families all remains to be seen.

I just find it interesting to watch how the media has shifted from being more sharks in the feeding frenzy to being the sympathetic and loving friends and supporters. That kind of opportunistic hypocrisy irritates me. Whatever happened to just reporting the news?

The church, meanwhile, is doing all it can to distance itself from either the FLDS group or the raid. The church site is full of corrections and clarifications that we (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) are NOT the FLDS church, and do NOT practice polygamy.

Well, SOMEONE in Texas is going to have to sort all this out, and I’m hecka glad it’s not me!

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Here's to You, Pres. Hinkley

The news isn't even an hour old, and already the 'net and the bloggernacle are abuzz. Not at all surprising.

President Gordon B Hinkley has died. (Just in case you hadn't heard yet)

There will be those, I'm sure, who are saddened by the news. I'm not one of them. In fact, when I first heard the news, I wanted to jump up and cheer. To me, this was great news to celebrate.

The last few conferences, you could see how much he missed Marjorie, his dear wife. You could see how much that was weighing on him. He kept pressing on in the vast work of running the church, and he kept his usual good humor with him, but you could see it wearing on the poor man.

Now, he can finally go and be with her.

There are a few readers of my blog that are not members of my faith, and for their benefit, let me explain: We believe that those that are married (we call it being "sealed") in our temples are not just married for temporal life, but for all eternity. If both spouses are faithful to the gospel and to each other, they are exalted together, and are still married in the life to come.

Well, I don't know that I can think of a man and wife who have been more faithful than Pres and Sister Hinkley. Of all of us, I'd think that they'd be the most certain of all of us to have the kind of marriage that could last for eternity.

This man has accomplished so much for the good of the church, and for the good of the world in his lifetime. And so, I say it's time to celebrate! He has returned to his Father, and can face Him with his wife in joy.

I hope that when I go, I can say the same!




MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

The Rights of Parents

I just received what follows in an email from an old and trusted friend. He had apparently received it from another friend. I appreciated his added comments and the citation of the excerpt from the Proclamation on the Family.

I’m not fully sure what I think of this yet, so I’m offering it up here for perusal and discussion. I looked at the website that is the original source, and found it interesting. On the surface, it seems to be worthy of support.

Still all things political need to be weighed very carefully, especially when it comes to amending the Constitution. If it’s warranted, and the wording stands up to scrutiny, I will support it in the long run. For now, it looks good in my eyes, but I’ll withhold final choices until I’m better informed.

In the meantime, read on and tell me what you think:

---

To my family and friends with whom I share many common convictions. Please consider this email below carefully, which I received this morning from a respected and trusted friend and concerned parent. Though I am no expert in these matters, this sort of involvement strikes me as being in harmony with the final paragraph of the Proclamation on the Family (in bold), issued by the Lord's prophet and the Quorum of Twelve Apostles. I've included an excerpt from that proclamation for your consideration:

---

"'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."

---

Again, please take a moment to consider this email below, and respond appropriately.

CT

---

Greetings Folks,

I am sending this to you because I believe it to be an important matter and your assistance will be both helpful as well as quick and easy.

The proper and necessary rights of parents have long been under siege in our country. And now, the God given authority of parents is not only at risk from within our own country's legislative and judicial processes but also, believe it or not, from international law, vis a vis the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).

There is an effort now to make a Constitutional amendment which would positively ensure the rights of parents to exercise their authority in protecting and raising their children and it needs your support. Here is the draft of the amendment.

DRAFT PARENTAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT
FOR THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION

SECTION 1
The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing and education of their children is a fundamental right.

SECTION 2
Neither the United States nor any state shall infringe upon this right without demonstrating that its governmental interest as applied to the person is of the highest order and not otherwise served.

SECTION 3
No treaty nor any source of international law may be employed to supersede, modify, interpret, or apply to the rights guaranteed by this article.

The link below will take you to more information on the subject and also a very simple and quick petition to sign. All it asks is your name, email and address.

http://www.parentalrights.org/

Please take a few moments to consider this issue and the signing of the petition.

---

So, let’s all look at it and discuss!

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

Daddy?

A long time ago, I was in a craft boutique with my wife, and I saw something that made me laugh. It caught me with that sort of cynical laughter that comes up when something is stated in a clever way and hits really too close to home.

It was a cutsie little cross-stitch, in two panels. The first had a sweet teddy bear, dressed in an apron in a kitchen. Underneath it, it said, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

The second panel showed another teddy bear, dressed in pants, shirt and a tie, sitting in a chair reading the paper. Its caption read, “If papa ain’t happy, ain’t nobody cares!”

Then a few days ago, a close friend of mine had an article published in Meridian Magazine about what happens to men when they go through sadness, depression, and trauma. So often, we are either ignored or told to just “Suck it up and get on with life”. It can be very isolating.

I remember when, after 8 years of hope and infertility treatments, we finally conceived only to lose the baby at 19 weeks to a miscarriage. At the time, I was working in an elementary school teaching music to other people’s kids. And my boss expected me back in the classroom the following Monday as if nothing had happened.

As we’ve been discussing this article on a forum I’m in, one of the ladies observed, “I am embarrassed to admit that in all the times when tragedy or difficulty has befallen a family, it has never once occurred to me to give solace or sympathy to the father or husband. I haven't avoided it or thought that the Elder's Quorum should or will do it, it has just NOT occurred to me. I manage to offer my sympathies and extend my understanding to the wife and kids, but well, clearly I have not finished the effort.”

Everyone reacts to stress differently. Everyone handles it (or mishandles it) in their own way. Still, I’m reminded of the admonition of Alma to be “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort…”

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com

That's My Story, and I'm Stickin' to It!

Here's the whole story:

I have a really good friend of a number of years. He lived just around the corner from me while we were still in West Jordan. His kids lived at our house when our kids weren't living at his (those of you with children will understand that). He's another erstwhile musician, a keyboardist. Quite good, too, when he gets the chance to bust out and play.

But that's not what this story is about.

So, just to keep up with each other, we've started meeting up at a local all-night restaurant about every other wednesday. We have to do the late nights, because he usually doesn't get off work until 10:30, and it's 11:00 by the time he gets there.

We usually get dinner or sometimes just desert, and just blah, blah, blah, until about 1:00 or so in the morning.

But that's not what ths story's about, either.

Well, sorta, but not really.

So, this last wednesday, I was coming home from the restaurant, driving through the rain in my father-in-law's car, and a song came on the radio.

It was tuned to his favorite station (being his car), a classic country station. The song was twangin' along about a guy driving home late at night, also in the rain. But this guy had been out partying and carousing all night, and he goes on and on in the song about how his Lady's gonna be upset and sreaming and waving the frying pan in her hand.

He's desparately trying to come up with excuses and alibis to either cover his tracks or at least soften the blows. But even by the time the pedal steel solo kicks in, he's realizing that, ultimately, he knows they're all lies, and he's gonna be in trouble anyway.

So here I am, driving home from a night out with my friend, it's way, way late, and I'm listening to this song. And it hits me that I don't need aibi. I don't need an excuse.

It's kind of a funny revelation. Like I'd really known it all along, but I'd never noticed it before. My wife knows where I am, where I've been, and won't be the least bit upset by it. She won't yell at me or swing kitchenware at me. She won't doubt me or even question me about it (other than to ask if I had a good time).

We're going to have our 20th anniversary this summer. And, while like all marriages, we've had our issues, we're doing pretty well right now, thank very much. And I just realized that night how wonderful it is to live free of that fear that the guy in the song was so pitifully whining about.

I don't need an alibi.

And that's what this story is all about.

MRKH
Mark Hansen
http://markhansenmusic.com