Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Barbie v Superman

We live in a very confused society.

That’s not exactly news, but the media is going on about it anyway. They’re not saying, “We live in a very confused society”, but they’re reporting on it, and the things I’m reading say to me that “We live in a very confused society.”

A while ago, there was a big hue and cry about the Barbie doll. Feminists were quite upset that the dolls were indoctrinating young women with the idea that if they didn’t have big boobs, thin waists, and empty heads, they weren’t valuable. They went on and on about how her proportions (especially if they were to be considered in scale) were creating much of the bad body images that girls were going through. It was like the Barbie doll was single-handedly responsible for all the Bulimia and Anorexia in the country.

I heard some women tell us men that we had it easy. We didn’t have to live up to such an unattainable standard.

Got news for you, sister. We have an even higher standard, one even tougher than a triple-D chest. We got Superman.

You thing you’ve got troubles squeezing into a bikini? We’re supposed to be faster than bullets, strong enough to stop speeding trains with our bare hands, and leap over tall buildings in a single bound! Last I checked, Barbie never flew to the moon or used X-ray vision.

…Talk about unattainable…

Well, like always, I’ve got a song about it. You can find it at markhansen.iuma.com


By Mark Hansen

I wanna be your superman
Wear a red cape and everything
Come to your rescue and make a stand
I wanna be your superman

I wanna jump in the air and fly
Every time you’re in trouble
I wanna carry you in my hand
I wanna be your superman

But I am not your superman
And yet you love me as I am
So I’ll just do the best I can
So I can be your superman

I try to help around the house
Play with the kids do the laundry
Try to cook soup from a can
So I can be your superman

Monday morning I’m at my job
Friday night I’m exhausted
Didn’t quite go as I had planned
Not much of a superman

And I know you are doing your best, too
And feeling like you’re fighting for air
And through it all I hope you can see
You’re like Wonder Woman to me

Mark Hansen

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