Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Thoughts on Marriage

Last night, I was watching a news chat/debate show, and they were discussing an interesting topic, which continues some thoughts that I’ve been having lately about marriage.

They were discussing a man who put an ad for a roommate in the paper. He said he had a luxury apartment in a very prestigious building he was willing to share. The rent would be only $1 a month. Here’s the catch. He wanted to rent it to a female, who, as part of the rental agreement, would do light cleaning, cooking, and have sex with him twice a week.

One of the guys in the debate was saying that this was borderline prostitution. He’s paying for her sexual services with reduced rent.

The point was brought out that this shouldn’t be prostitution, shouldn’t be illegal, because any living arrangement that two consenting adults enter into should be legal. Isn’t marriage, he said, essentially a contract between two parties that includes both a financial and a sexual element?

I’ve been reading what a lot of the bloggosphere and the message boards have to say about the new HBO series “Big Love”. This is a series that depicts a modern set of polygamist families.

This brings to light much of the arguments that have been made over the last few years over the issue of same-sex marriages. At first, many who were opposed to them feared that allowing it would open up the options of many other variations of “marriage”. Things like polygamy, polyandry, incest, underage marriages, and even marriages to animals or inanimate objects have been suggested as steps down the logic path from the same-sex marriage gateway.

Supporters of gay marriage have said that these things are preposterous. These possibilities are the crazy imaginings of the radical right. They’d never happen.

And yet, here we are. The question of same sex marriages hasn’t even been resolved yet, and people are already considering marriage as a legal contract of convenience between any consenting adults.

So, how does all this affect MY marriage? Not much, really. I mean, if someone else wants to be “different”, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m happy in my “traditional” marriage. But the redefining of marriage may well affect my children’s marriages. If they grow up in a world where anyone can marry anything for any length of time, what do they have as models to live by? It does make it harder for me to show them the value of a lasting eternal commitment.

Ultimately, teaching right and wrong is my responsibility, I know. It’s just easier when it’s not so isolated.

Mark Hansen


  1. A couple of months ago I watched a wealthy woman from England "marry" her favorite dolphin (via "Today" on NBC). When told that a marriage needed to be consumated to qualify as a true marriage, the woman replied that their "honeymoon was private, and who could judge what she and her spouse (the dolphin, btw-female dolphin) did in seclusion?"

    My first thoughts were those you bring up in your post, the after thoughts were akin to "folks have a tendancy to allow, exploit with approval, or otherwise turn their heads when someone with a boat load of money is choosing the wrong thing." No one is really challenging this woman because they take it as a joke. But joke or not, somewhere in the Bahamas she found someone to give her a legal document that indeed proclaims she and a dolpin are a married couple. The same thing happened here in CA where 2/3 of the voters voted AGAINST same gender marriage, yet celebrities and those supported by celebrities were granted these illegal marriages. NO one is proscicuting the government officials who condoned, allowed or promoted these illegal acts. They look the other way and so has the entire country no that the focus is on something else.

    The IRS will be the only stumbling block for these marriages for a years or two and then a really clever lawyer will defend a couple that has been "abused" by the IRS and point out that every other government official (i.e. the post office, as in Miracle on 34th Street, recognises them as married) and also officials, so why not make it totally recognised.

    It's just a matter of timing. If we all look the other way long enough things will happen on their own without our having to argue or vote.

    On a rather sad side note, the folks who convinced psychologists to removed the labels from homosexuals (perverted, abnormal, degenerate, etc. behaviours) are now working to do the same for those with "natural feelings of sexual love for those who would be considered by age or mental capacity a child."

    Heaven help us all.

  2. Hey Mark, what's up ?
    Sorry boter you but I'm a musician from Brazil. I was born in the church, so, since I was a LDS kid I've always loved music.
    Now I'm 27 years old and I'm searching for Mormon rock music, but here in Brazil, few members use to do that, Thay usually play balads.
    How can I download your CD ?
    Thanks Marco

  3. Hey, thanks for looking me up! It's cool to hear from
    other Mormon rockers, even all over the world!

    Most of the tunes are available right off the website:

    That's got about half the CD, and a whole bunch of new
    tunes I've done for my next CD. If you want the rest
    of the CD, I can send you those files. Check out the
    ones at the site first, tho.

    And spread the word!




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